Alexandra Black has had everything she's ever wanted all her life. New clothes, shoes, cars, you name it. But what will happen when something she doesn't want, gets handed to her? Feelings for a certain Sebastian Kingsley.
Sebastian Kingsley is the...
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I COULDN'T STOP fucking thinking about what Sebastian had said in class.
It was beautiful.
That's the only way I can describe it. His words, the way he said them, the way he though about it, his view of the tragic love story, was all just beautiful.
I remember looking at him intently as he spoke those words with such passion. Seeing the way his lips would curl up into an almost invisible smile when he spoke about certain parts, or the way his Addams apple bobbed up and down each time he went to swallow. The way his chest rose up and down as he breathed ever so gently. His fingers fidgeting around with each other as all pairs of thirty eyes were glued to him, one of his nervous habits that I picked up. The way his brown curly locks were so messy, yet placed so delicately on his head looked so shiny that I was desperate to run my hands through it. Lastly, those beautiful ocean blue eyes that I've grown to cherish. The way the would widen when he spoke about a certain thing so passionately, or how they would brighten up when he knew that Mr Williams was actually giving him a chance to answer a question. And how those very same eyes, would fleet over to me so briefly, I almost kissed it.
But I didn't.
I saw the way he talked about the undeniable love that Romeo and Juliet shared. And I saw the way he looked at me when he talked about their undeniable love. It caused a swarm of butterflies to be unleashed in my stomach without my permission. I tried so hard to get rid of the feeling. The feeling of his gaze on me, the feeling I get when he smiles, or gives his whole hearted laugh, or the feeling I get when I see the way he acts with his little sister Sofia. But I've mainly tried to get rid of the feeling I get from the way he treats me.
Sure, we still argue to no end, but there's something different in the way we argue now. It's as if, something has shifted. I don't know how I feel about my new found feelings I guess, but I do know that it's making me happier. It's making me feel things that I've never felt before, not even with Jackson.
With Jackson, things were different. Things were toxic. Because at the beginning of our relationship, he was amazing. He never pressured me into anything I didn't want to do, he listened to me when I needed to rant about something, he took care of me when I was ill, and he took me on a lot of expensive dates. Things were great between us, at the time. After about two months of going out, he started getting really distant, not wanting to hang out, calling me in the middle of the night when he was drunk and claiming he loved me. It might not seem crazy, or it might seem that I was just too clingy, but that's the thing. I was clingy. I like to be a clingy girlfriend, but obviously not in a creepy stalker way. Why?
Because girls are clingy as fuck.
I like to be constantly reassured that I'm in a nice relationship, a loving one. I like to be held by my significant other, whether it's too comfort me or because they like my touch. I like to be listened to, not just heard, to be listened. And I like to listen to them. I like to know that they would never do me wrong, and if they did then they would be sorry and do their best to apologise to me. I like to know that I will never be alone. That they'll never leave me. If they want to leave me because they've fallen out of love with me, or they simply feel that they aren't in the right place for a relationship, that's fine with me. It will hurt I admit, but it's not all about me. But, if they want to leave me simply because they've done me wrong, or because they simply don't care about me anymore, that is not okay. I will be the one to leave them, not the other way around.
