At Midnight

Chapter 12

I was curled up on the couch watching some sappy television program. It was about two odd teenagers becoming best friends. In the end, they fell in love, got married and had babies together. How cliché.

I took another swig from the bottle as the credits rolled. There was no such thing as a happy ending. It was a mystery why people invested in such an idea. To me, it was a delusion, just some form of comfort people made up to rely on when they don't know what's the meaning of life and all that shit. It's a lot like love, really. They don't exist.

I drank the remaining drops of vodka from the bottle and went to the kitchen to grab another one. When I opened one of the cabinets, a small cylinder shaped bottle dropped and landed on the ground. I bent and picked it up and upon finding out what it was; I threw it in the bin. I hated that thing and being reminded of it made me sick. As I was opening my third bottle of vodka, at ten in the morning, there was a knock on my door.

" Ashton, what are you doing here?" My eyes widened.

" Came to talk to you. May I come in?" He said softly.

I nodded my head and let him in. " Wow. Mia, its only ten in the morning and you've drank how many of that?" He pointed at the bottle of vodka in my hand.

" Three." I shrugged.

" Three? That's a lot." He stared at me with wide eyes.

" So." I prompted.

" Are you sober?"

" Yes." I rolled my eyes and sat down.

" Okay. Uh, I just wanted to say that I was sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have pushed you too much. I crossed the line and I'm sorry. I didn't know you were having a bad day." He apologized.

" It's okay. Sorry I snapped at you." I looked down at my feet.

" We cool?"

" Cool."

" God, you're place is in a mess." He sighed as he picked up the empty bottles from the floor and headed to the kitchen.

I heard the clanking of bottles and ignored it. My mind was a little fuzzy from all the alcohol and I couldn't find the strength to get up from the couch to help him.

" Mia, what's this?" He asked as he pointed at the bottle that he was holding. My eyes adjusted to the object and I instantly recognized it. It was the bottle of medication that I had thrown away earlier.

" You were looking through my trash?" I asked as I tried to walk towards him, almost tripping along the way.

" I was throwing away your rubbish when I saw this." He explained and held my arms so that I wouldn't fall again.

" Well, you can put it back where you found it. Its not important." I waved off.

" Its medication, Mia." He said slowly.

" So?" I asked, trying to steady myself.

" Its your medication." He said after examining the bottle. He gave me a stern look.

" Expired. Whatever. Just throw it away. I need to lie down." He loosened his grip on me and I slumped on the couch and fell asleep.

I didn't know how long I had slept but after what seemed like hours, I woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and potato chips. I forced my eyelids open with every ounce of energy I had left. There was a loud munching sound and it was adding onto the terrible headache I was having. I was in my room and on my bed. I pushed myself up to a sitting position although it pained me to do so.

" Mia, you okay?" Someone asked. Ashton. He was sitting on a chair across my bed and he put away the packet of potato chips.

I shook my head. " What happened?"

" You passed out. Too drunk." He said softly. I winced at the sound of his voice.

" Shh. You're too loud." I whispered.

It felt like the room was spinning and that there was a hammer knocking on my skull. Everything was so loud, like there was a sound system blasting in my ears. My body felt sore like I'd just run a marathon and my stomach was churning violently. Not a good sign.

" Here's some water and aspirin." He handed me a bottle of water and the medicine as he sat at the end of my bed and I took it obediently. When you're having a bad hangover, you'd do anything to make it go away. I nodded my head and mouthed a 'thank you' to him.

He nodded and smiled. But there was something wrong with his smile. Ashton was a very smiley person and he was also sincere. However, that smile looked like it was force. Like he was doing it for the sake of it. It wasn't genuine.

" What's wrong?" I asked.

" Nothing." He smiled. It was off. There was worry and sorrow in his eyes.

" Tell me." I urged.

" After you feel better okay? Get some rest." He got up from the bed but I caught his arm before he could leave.

" I don't care if I feel like shit. There's something wrong that's bothering you and I'm not resting until you are." I folded my hands stubbornly.

He scanned my face and then sighed. He ran his fingers through his tussled hair in frustration and then looked at me in the eye again, more seriously this time. There were wrinkles on his forehead and that only happened when he was either worried or angry. None of them were ideal at the moment. As the smile fell from his face, I fell with it too.

" Mia," he started gently, " I saw what it was. Your medication. I know what Lexapro is and...I just, I just feel... I don't know. I wished you'd told me earlier."

" It's not really a conversational starter." I shrugged, trying to keep a blank face. I never wanted him to find out.

" Mia, I'm your friend and I care deeply about you and I really wanna be there for you and all that crap." He held my hand tightly.

" I know." Because that was the only thing I could think of.

" I do care. And I want you to know that I'm all ears if you're ready to open up." He smiled at me gently.

I stared down at my feet. " I'm sorry."

" Its okay." He said gently and pulled me into a bear hug.

My whole head was spinning and all I wished for then was to pass out. To not have that conversation. To be normal for a change.

" Hey, shh. Its okay, Mia." Ashton cooed and rested his chin on my head.

I hadn't realized that I had been crying into his chest. His shirt was soaked with my tears and I felt terrible. Not because I ruined his favorite shirt, but because we would never be the same again. He found out. And everything would change.

He rubbed small circles into my back and rocked back and forth gently. And I cried and cried and cried.