At Midnight

Chapter 33

Days have passed since Ashton and I last spoke and honestly, it was worrying me a lot, especially since he wouldn't pick up his phone. He probably wasn't ready to talk about what had happened that day and I wasn't the one to pressure him. Or maybe he was angry with me. I had absolutely no clue what was that boy thinking.

I had to run quite a few errands so when I looked at the sleeping house beside mine as I walked to the driveway, I didn't bother checking up on him. Pulling out a cigarette, I got into the car and drove to my first stop without looking back.

I dropped by Brenda's office, passing her secretary a note I had written for her, thanking her and apologizing for my attitude towards her. I had put a lot of thought into it and I hoped she'd forgiven me even though I knew she wasn't the type of person to hold grudges. We hadn't known each other for long but I figured that was the least I could do.

Then, I drove to the same café I met up with Dr Martin the previous year year. He came into wearing his usual office wear but this time, with an enormous smile on his face that stretched from ear to ear. I remembered that time we had a little 'talk' here and my face flushed at my behavior. It all seemed like a lifetime ago.

" How have you been Mia?" Dr Martin greeted me warmly as he slid into his seat. He seemed so different than how he was usually when we met in his office. I guessed he thought of me as more than a patient. It was heartwarming knowing that he cared about me.

" I'm doing well actually. I just wanted to thank you for well, everything. And apologize for the way I acted."

We spent the next few hours talking to each other and I felt comfortable, which was something completely foreign whenever I communicated with a grown up. I was somehow always seen as a typical awkward teenager with outbreaks of pimples from time to time as a result going through stress and the raging hormones in our bodies.

I genuinely enjoyed my time with him, just catching up and talking about the future. He was such a kind-hearted man and I wished that we could've started afresh. But I had to end on a good note and that was what I was going to do.

" What's important are your well-being and your route to recovery." He had said.

After a few hours passed, he had to leave for his next appointment with another patient so we said our goodbyes. He gave my shoulder a tight squeeze before he left, encouraging me to move forward.

I studied the tattoo on my left shoulder. The arrow through the diamond I had gotten months ago at that Bill's store where I had first met Javier and where both Ashton and I had gotten our very first tattoos. It meant courage, bravery, dauntless.

At that moment, I felt small. I was neither courageous, brave nor dauntless. But I wasn't a coward either. I wasn't one to back out and go back on my words. When I had made a decision, I wouldn't change my mind.

I called Javier and asked him to meet me at my house. I needed his help and I needed him to make sure I wouldn't chicken out the last minute. Things were a little weird between us but we were still friends after all.

He was sitting on my front porch when I arrived back home. " What's the emergency?" He asked.

" You're going to help me with spring cleaning." I said and led him inside of the house.

" Why the sudden urge?" He asked as he followed me to my room.

" I thought I should give away things I don't need." I just shrugged.

We blasted music and went through my stuff, throwing things I didn't want inside a trash bag and the things I wanted to give away in a cupboard box. Javier had to shout over the music to see which were the things I wanted or not. I had to admit, it was pretty funny.