At Midnight

Chapter 19

" You need to eat." Uncle Charlie said as he pushed the plate of freshly made pancakes towards me. I refused and pushed it away.

" Mia, you need to eat." He said and he cut a piece of the pancake and held it in front of me.

" You know what happens after I eat. I bet the doctors told you." I rolled my eyes and pushed his hand away.

" I don't need them to tell me. I already knew when we went out for some pizza at the nice place downtown. I should've known earlier." He sighed. It was painful watching him like that.

" You eat in front of your friends don't you? So you just go for the bathroom after that?" He asked, raising his voice a little. I knew he was angry at himself for not doing a good enough job at being an uncle. I felt even worse about myself after seeing him like that. He deserved better than me.

" Are you done?" I raised an eyebrow.

I didn't feel like talking to him about it. Or talking to anyone about anything, for that matter. I needed my own personal space and no one was giving me any at the moment. It felt like I couldn't breath and everything was all so claustrophobic. As if there were brick walls surrounding my lungs and out of nowhere, they all started tumbling down and crashing on top of them and knocking the air out of me.

I felt confined and imprisoned like I was a prisoner in some high security jail. Heck, even prisoners got more privacy than I did. I was being watched every five minutes and it was suffocating.

He stared into my eyes for a minute before giving up. He must've known he went over the line. " I'm gonna go out for a jog." He announced and left the house. Uncle Charlie only went out for jogs whenever he was upset.

He had always kept these things as a secret from my mother and I was grateful to him for that. I didn't want anyone to know and Uncle Charlie was the unlucky one to find out and bear the responsibility of having to deal with it. He was always the one bailing me out of the hospital when I got in trouble.

My eyelids were heavy and it was hard to open them due to all the crying last night. I was a handful, sure. I wasn't easy, sure. All I ever wanted was to be normal. Like the other kids who went to parties and got drunk or those who went to malls with their best friends or those who have ice cream without counting the calories in their heads. But instead, I was stuck with appointments and hospital trips. Which only reminded me that I could never be normal, even if I wanted to.

The doorbell rang and I got up to answer it. Uncle Charlie often forgot his keys so it wouldn't be a surprise to see him all sweaty and puffing on the front porch, grinning sheepishly about his forgetfulness. However, the person at my front porch wasn't my uncle but Ashton.

His eyes were tired and they were dropping a little and I could see that he had lost some weight over the past few days that I hadn't seen him. Jesus, he looked terrible. He looked tired but his eyes brightened up when he saw me. But I could see his face fall a little. He must've noticed my swollen eyes and my terrible appearance. Did he know that I was in the hospital?

" Mia! Good to see you again!" He enveloped me in one of his bear hugs.

" Same here." I managed a smile. I invited him in and he smiled.

" I saw your uncle's car in the driveway. I knew you must've been discharged so I came as soon as I can." He explained.

" Wait. You knew that I was in the hospital?" I asked.

" Yeah. They wouldn't let me see you. Family only. I came here today to see how are you doing. And why you were in the hospital. Your uncle didn't say anything. Javier was there too. He's been worried sick." His smile faded a little and I could see his forehead creasing together. Had he been worried about me? Was I the reason why he was so exhausted? I felt guilty and all I wanted to do then was to crawl back into my back and in between and the sheets and just cry until my pillows were soaked wet.