At Midnight

Chapter 3

I knew it was a mistake to be friends with Ashton. Ever since we were said friends, he wouldn't stop coming by which meant that I had to get out of bed every time he rang the doorbell. He seemed pretty bent on hanging out with me and whenever I tried to decline his offer, he'd always show up despite my protests.

He was a great acquaintance, we listened to the same type of music, had the same sense of humor and shared a lot of common interests but spending time with him meant having lesser time for myself.

Call me selfish but I was accustomed to being alone. I guess I just wasn't used to having a friend or having someone that was there for me. He was my first friend. He was the first person who cared. But the question was, would he stay if he found out whom I really was? I don't think he would.

The sound of his laughter brought me back to reality. It was a Saturday and we were in my living room, watching a movie that Ashton had brought over. It was our fifth time hanging out and we had only been friends for less than two weeks. I concluded that he had too much free time to spend. I actually had hobbies but I couldn't really participate in those activities when he was around. He had already nagged me to quit my smoking habit. If he found out what I did for ' fun ', things would get ugly.

Truthfully, I didn't want to loose my only friend. But I knew that like all others, he would leave eventually. I just hoped that I wouldn't get too attached.

" The main lead reminds me of you." He said, his eyes still fixed on the screen.

" How so?" I questioned. The main lead was beautiful, quirky and smart – the total opposite of me.

" She's mysterious. Like you." He smiled.

I raised a brow but I couldn't help but grin at his words. Nobody ever took the time to compliment me. People always called me a freak or an outcast; 'mysterious' was definitely an upgrade.

" I don't get why people ignore you, you're fun to hang out with." He said, trying to bring up the most uncomfortable and insensitive subject in the world. I ignored him and continued watching the movie in silence, thinking that he would get the hint but apparently he was either too dumb or too thick-skinned to keep his big mouth shut.

" I mean you're a really chill and funny person. Sure, you're not perfect but everyone has their flaws." He tried again.

" Just watch the movie." I said coldly. 

He didn't say a word after that. The atmosphere was pretty tense but I didn't care, he was the one that started it after all.

" Sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up." He apologized after the movie had ended.

" It's okay." I managed a smile. I didn't liked feeling pissed off at my friend.

" I just wanted to get to know you more."

" You're curious?" I asked even though it sounded more like a statement. I knew that he was just curious. And maybe he didn't really care in the first place.

" I'm your friend. " Giving me a reassuring smile before he went home.

I spent a great amount of time mulling over his words that night, tossing and turning in bed. I glanced at the clock and it was already four in the morning. I sighed – looks like I wouldn't be getting much sleep. I swung my legs off the bed and changed into warmer clothes. Slipping on some boots and a hoodie, I grabbed my car keys and headed out for a drive. I drove to the one place where I always cleared my mind.

I sat on the empty bench on the hill that overlooked the Golden Gate Bridge. It was five in the morning by the time I got there and the fog was slowly clearing up. I loved the view, especially in the twilight. It felt magical, as if I was in some magical fairyland. The quietness and surrealism made me feel calm and relaxed. It helped me think and sort out my emotions.

There was something intriguing about Ashton. He didn't care about what other people thought. If he did, he wouldn't have been my friend. There were no benefits of befriending me so I couldn't see the reason why he did. I knew it wasn't out of pity because he had shown me no signs of that during the times we hung out. And he had other friends too. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but I had a gut feeling that something was fishy.

I might be insecure and paranoid but I was just taking precautions. He wasn't really my first friend but I liked to think he was. He was the longest that had stuck by me and I didn't want him to turn out like the rest – backing out once I've opened up to them. It really hurt having to pretend to be strangers when there was a time where talking on the phone till late at night was a daily thing.

A few bad eggs here and there had made me indifferent to people. That was why it didn't matter to me if people treated me as invisible or not. I knew some people in school did try to become my friend because they genuinely wanted to but I wasn't easy. I'd usually push them away and I was known to do that in school. My classmates couldn't understand why and I didn't blame them. Eventually, they stopped trying and left me alone. And I was grateful in a sense.

But with Ashton, I didn't see the need to push him away. I felt comfortable with him and when I was with him, it felt as if all the worries in the world just disappeared into thin air. I wanted to make sure he was different like how I had hoped he would be.