L o v e . . . ? {R E M Y}

431 13 23

by C0SM1C-EXE

by C0SM1C-EXE

TW: Toxic Relationship, Abusive Relationship, Driving people away, questioning love, mentions of danger, mentions of pain

AU: None

Ship: Toxic Remile

This is very different than my usual writing, but I love it.

Third Person POV

The hit Remy felt across his face couldn't feel like hurt anymore. It was numbing, like an ocean where someone lied. A house where nothing worked. A loved one, once there now gone. He had been used to the feeling of going numb and then returning to the feeling he thought was love. What else could it be?

Remy reached a hand up to touch his face, his gray eyes dull like old, foggy glass, not the silver of shiny snow on Christmas. He didn't have the ability to cry at this moment, all he was focused on doing was numbing the pain, from his face, and from knowing that he was stuck in this never ending void of complications.

Emile kneeled down by him, stroking his face. "Shh, it's okay love." He said. Remy looked into the eyes of his husband, seeing what he once saw as the color of beautiful autumn leaves now turned to danger. The need to cry returned as his eyes pricked with tears. He lunged onto Emile, crying into his shoulder.

"E-Emmy-" "Shhh, I'm here. I just did what I needed to do, you know I'd never hurt you on purpose." The chill in his voice no longer reminded him of a field of sunflowers they had run in together, instead it dripped with color. Not the color used to make a picture out of the night sky, instead red paint illustrating the fear that Remy kept inside of himself for all of these years, unable to let it out, burying himself in the idea that colors were all good, and that this was how love was.

The man that he clung to could only be perceived upon meeting him as a bluebird. Small, innocent. Now as Remy cried into his shoulder while Emile whispered kindly, his voice laced with dangerous intentions, it could be seen only now that this man was nothing of the sort.

But this man had taught Remy love. What was love? Love had been said to be the feeling that you were floating. Water turned to lakes of beauty, flowers were seen as remarks of devotion, trust, and understanding. But the love Remy knew he felt was much more daring. It felt like entrapment, being close to Emile. The walls the small man had built between his husband and their many friends was just as proof that love was going to the ends of the earth to do everything for your lover, and when you didn't walls got built until someone broke them down again. The cycle would repeat. That was love, right?

What is it to feel like you are floating?

What is it to feel trusted?

Or devoted?

What about..

Safe?

Enchanted?

Loved?

Who determined what was love when love could be seen between Remy and Emile?

Or just..

Remy

To Emile?

Or even at all?

Who got to choose?

It's only a matter of time before that decision broke.

And so here Remy was again, the stinging on his face ever present like yellow among red, and the tears one there had left, staining his face with marks of love.

Love?

Word Count: 551 including this