Sanders Sides Angst One Shots

Empty {R O M A N}

TW: Arguing, Anorexia, Bulimia, 911, Happy ending.

Ship: LAMP/CALM

Human AU

I came from my room and sat at the table, avoiding the glare of two of my boyfriends. I had gotten into an argument with Virgil earlier, and Logan had taken his side. Patton was at work, so I had nobody to stand with me. He also knows nothing of the fight.

I grab my fork and go to eat a piece of chicken, when I hear a laugh coming from Logan. I look up, and he and Virgil are giving me a look that says 'Really?' While the supposedly anxious one motions to the food on my fork. I put it down and the two nod their heads.

"You okay kiddo?" Patton worries. "You usually love chicken!" I just give a fake smile. "I'm alright Pat, just..not hungry is all! May I be excused?"

Patton nods. "As long as you eat something before bed." Virgil looks up from his food, which he has pretty much finished. "I'm done, may I as well?" "Yep!"

I try to go up to my room and avoid him, but he just follows me inside. "You know why we did that, right? I just think you've put on a few pounds, and you need to eat healthier. You keep thinking you're so perfect and pretty, but you're not. Just thought I needed to put that out there." I felt the tears well in my eyes. "Okay, babe. I l-love yo-you." He nods and leaves me alone.

Am I really that fat? So fat that Virgil of all people wants me to restrict my diet? Oh wait, I know what he's doing.

Virgil and Logan know that I had problems with anorexia in the past. It wasn't very severe, but it did land me in the hospital once. I think they're so mad at me that they're trying to trigger it.

It's working.

You pathetic little boy. You do need to lose some pounds. Do it do it do it!

I'm not giving in to you,!

Do it do it do it!

Fine.

And so it began. I was back to square one. Virgil came in the next day to apologize for what he said. "Baby I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it! Please forgive me, don't be sad." He hugged me and I hugged back.

Too late!

I started out small so as not to alert the others. Just skipping breakfast, which I could do easily since I was always up first. They didn't notice a thing. After about a month, I still wasn't happy. So I pretended to go out for lunch, and say it was my afternoon walk, and that I'd get a hotdog at the stand in the park. I of course didn't. I still wasn't happy with my looks after another month went by. So, I skipped breakfast, pretended to eat lunch, and either ate just a little bit of dinner or I threw it up. This continued for about half of a year not including the months where I only skipped lunch and breakfast, so about 8 months. I only ate gum or a few grapes every week. I still wasn't happy.

But on the ninth month, someone noticed. The trigger himself. And he wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't passed out on the floor while he and I were the only ones home.

Virgil

I was in my room painting, minding my own business, when I heard a loud thud from Roman's room. I dashed over to find him passed out by a scale and a mirror, shirtless. He was so thin, I could count his ribs. He was pale, too. How did I not notice? He was doing this to himself again!

Crying, I went and kneeled by him. I saw his journal, and it was labeled with a bunch of his favorite foods, their calories, and ways to avoid eating. I looked at the date on the journal, it dated back to February 15th, 2018. Nine fricking months ago?! What happened that day? I remember.

He, Logan and I had gotten into an argument and at dinner I told him not to eat his food. Then I went into his room and told him to eat healthier. Oh my god it's mine and Logan's fault. I called Logan, who was with Patton at the time.

"Guys get home, now! It's about Roman!" I said through tears.

"Virgil? What had happened?" Logan replied.

"Do you remember back all the way in February, when we laughed at him when he tried to eat?"

"Yes, we were angry at him. What does this have to do with anything?"

"We fricking triggered his anorexia, and I think he's bulimic too! It's all our fault, he's been starving himself for nine months and we didn't notice! I'm such a bad boyfriend!"

"We..we triggered his anorexia?"

I can hear an already teary Patton in the backround. "YOU DID WHAT?!"

Logan answers. "Roman was anorexic in the past. He was in therapy and he slowly got better. One evening in February, he and Virgil had gotten into an argument. I took Virgil's figurative side. We laughed at him when he attempted to eat chicken at dinner, and he did not finish his food. Virgil followed him to his bedroom, and I don't know what happened after that."

I hear a gasp from Patton. "I told him he wasn't pretty, and that he had put on a few pounds and he needed to eat healthier. I wasn't trying to trigger it! I promise I didn't mean to! This is all our fault, Logan!"

I hear a car start. "We are on our way. I want you to call 911, and make sure he has a pulse and is breathing. You said he is not conscious, correct?"

"Yes, he's passed out on the floor by a scale, mirror, and notebook."

"Check his pulse, make sure he is breathing, and call 911. We will be there shortly." I can hear in his voice that he's trying not to cry, but Patton is failing at it, as am I.

We hang up and I do as I was told. I check his pulse, and it's barely there. I check his breathing, and it's stuttering out in uneven gasps. Not good.

I call 911.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Help, my boyfriend is on the floor and he's barely breathing and his pulse is bad and it's all my fault!"

"Okay, how is it your fault?"

"Nine months ago, I accidentally triggered his anorexia that he had just barely gotten over when we got into an argument! And he's been starving himself and I think he's bulimic too!"

"Okay. Confirm your address, and we'll have an ambulance over soon."

I confirmed my address, and soon Patton and Logan burst into the room. Both of them are sobbing, and so am I. We just wait around him for the ambulance to come, and soon it's here. They load him onto the stretcher, and Patton rides with him while Logan and I follow.

****

We get there, and get his room number. When we walk in, I see Patton curled up by the side of a hospital bed. On the bed lays my boyfriend, hooked up to tubes and wires, a heart monitor slowly beeping.

Logan and I let out another sob together and run to his side. He isn't awake, but I talk to him anyway. "I'm so sorry, Roman. Please, please wake up. I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. Please, I need you. I'll be a better boyfriend, just stay with me, please." I whisper.

My other two boyfriends seem to also be whispering something to him, and I'm the first to see when he opens his eyes. "V-Virgil? Logan, Patton?" They look up. "Wh-why are you cry-crying? I did go-good, see? I'm not fa-fat anymo-more!" I can see the tears on his face.

"Baby, you were already perfect. This is all mine and Virgil's fault. We shouldn't have berated you that way."

"No, no. You were ri-right! I wa-was top fa-fat!" I kiss his hand. "Roman, we were so wrong. You are not fat! You are beautiful, and even if you were overweight, which you're not, we would still love you."

"We all think you're so pretty and beautiful, Kiddo. Never do that again, we could've lost you, and I don't know if I could live with myself for not knowing, and I don't think the others could either." Logan and I nodded.

"I'm so-sorry guys, I wi-will try to b-be go-good."

We stayed with him all throughout his second recovery, and nobody EVER talked to him that way again. If they did, especially if it wasn't a boyfriend, I'd bust their kneecaps open.

Word Count: 1491 including this.