TW: Yelling, Screaming, Anger, Mentions of slSex (Just Pat saying he knows what it is.) Throwing things, Broken Glass, Treating someone like a Child, Mentions of Previous Self -Harm, Being Left Out, Feeling Like You're Not Good Enough.
Ship: LAMP/CALM
AU: None
Third Person POV
Patton was sitting on the floor in the living room, alone. His boyfriends were helping Thomas with something in the real world, so he was left to his own mind.
Thoughts telling him he couldn't do anything and that he wasn't important came through his mind and passed again, leaving him feeling numb, as if he was drowning in an ocean but the water is completely clear and everyone around him knows he's there, but refuses to look into the water and save him.
Feelings kept crashing and burning in his head, and he didn't know how he felt. One second it was sad, the next numb, confused, numb, sad, broken. One thing he ended up feeling was almost strange. Anger. He was angry at himself for not being good enough, angry at his boyfriends for not noticing or caring, angry at Thomas for letting him slip away, and just angry.
The anger became hard to control as it formed inside of him. Suddenly he stood up, and had the urge to destroy everything. Everything in sight.
He threw pillows off the couch and yelled in frustration, stomping and sobbing loudly. Table lamps were thrown on the floor, books were off the shelves. The rug under the coffee table had been kicked up in Patton's temper tantrum. He went to the kitchen and got a glass, throwing it on the floor in the living room as it shattered. His crying could be heard from anywhere in the light mindscape, gradually filtering between sobs and screaming.
The living room was a wreck. Broken glass was on the floor, the rug was ripped somehow, pillows were everywhere, the curtains were thrown on the floor, pictures were off of the tv stand, and there was moral side pathetically stomping around throwing things.
He was jealous. Jealous of his fellow sides, of his host. He wanted to be like them. Suddenly, the sides in question sunk into the mindpalace.
They saw everything was broken, the curtains, glass, pillows were everywhere, the rug was ripped, pictures were out of their frames, but they didn't care about that, it could be replaced. What they cared about was the reason why. They saw their boyfriend, sobbing and screaming, throwing things on the ground, unaware of their presence.
"I hate you!" He yelled, at what they couldn't see until Patton moved. It was a picture of himself. Suddenly, Logan couldn't take watching this anymore, and protective boyfriend mode kicked in. He ran over to Patton and picked him up, bridal style. The boy continued to scream his head off and kick. "Patton! Patton, honey, it is me! It is Logan, you're safe." He said.
Patton's sobs got louder but more controlled as he gradually stopped screaming and cuddled into Logan's arms. "I have you, honey, it's going to be alright." He whispered, signaling for the other two to join him where he was.
Roman walked over and ran his fingers through Patton's hair, and Virgil rubbed circles on the side of his arm lovingly. The four boys just sat there until Pat said "I wanna talk." They nodded, and Logan sat on the couch, Patton in his lap.
"I just..I got angry. At myself, at you guys, at Thomas. I thought I wasn't good enough. I was jealous that Thomas likes the three of you so much, but I have to be seen as the childish, innocent bean. All the time. People exclude me from serious talks because I'm a little..bubblier than you guys. I'm not something that always has to be protected and treated like a child! We all need love and care, and protection, but we don't need to exclude each other from conversations when the matter is mature. I'm not as innocent as you think, guys. I've hurt myself before on purpose, I know what sex is, and I'm not always happy. I'm not a baby, but all of you treat me as such and I don't like it. I was just angry, and got the urge to destroy something before I destroyed myself."
Once he finished talking, he realized how much he had said. "I'm sorry, once I started talking I just couldn't stop and-" "Honey, it's okay. We get it. And you're right, we do kinda treat you like a child. You have every right to be angry at us. We're gonna try and be better for you, because you deserve it."Virgil said.
Patton nodded, tears in his eyes as he lunged himself at the emo for a hug. "Thank you, baby." He said. "Virgil is right. We will try from now on to treat you as the amazing, wonderful, adult that you are!" Roman exclaimed as he joined the hug.
"Correct. We apologize for not doing anything sooner." Logan joined the hug as well.
Roman snapped his fingers and fixed the living room, broken glass disappearing, pillows going back where they belong, curtains hanging up, pictures being placed, etc.
Word Count: 881 including this
