philophobia | ksj+mb

-29-

I stared at the building I call home; its blackened walls, the moss and the dirt sticking into its surface. Crowebs had creeped into its small gaps and as I face it, I can hardly recognize my own home.

It wasn't supposed to be worn down or dirty or unused. My family still lived there. Why does it look like they're all gone?

I stepped in, hearing the door creaking and smelling the thick dust. Everything was grey. Crowebs decorated its edges and the ceilings. I traced my hand over the back of the sofa, looking at my palm soon after. It was pitch black.

The sofa's cushion was in pieces. It looked like it was ripped by claws. On its gaps were worn out leather collars. The collars of my dogs.

Insects made their nests in every possible surface; the table, the small gap behind cupboards, under the sofa, the cracks in the walls. Something crawled under my skin, and I shuddered. They're everywhere.

The haze came back.

I called out for someone, for anyone. All I got in return was an echo. And then silence. Too silent.

I searched the room. The haze kept on blurring my vision. I squinted, trying to be free of the haze.

I reached the backyard. It was the same shade of gray and eeriness. The grass had turned gray. The tree my family took care of was dead and black, dry to its bone. Three figures lay in the middle of all the grayness.

They're my dogs.

But instead of their usual lively selves they lay motionless on the ground. The grass pierced their skin, and I could see a different color; red. The color of blood.

Their fur had turned grey, no longer bright chocolate. The white seems to be dirty and they looked less like dogs. They look like little monsters.

"Byul?"

The voice echoed in my head and all over the room. I turned to see my little sister. She was pale, and rather hollow. Her face was colorless and her lips blue. Rash and dirt covered her skin. Her eyes look dead.

She was smiling.

"Yeosol?" my voice came out weaker than I wanted. I'm not even sure it reached her.

Her smile grew wider. The hairs on the back of my neck stood. I took a step back. "Why are you here?"

Her voice was steady, silky, beautiful. Too beautiful to be alive. If it weren't for how she looks, I would've thought she really was. But other than her beautiful voice, she looks like a walking zombie.

Why am I here?

"I came to visit."

The air stilled. She took a step forward. "Now? Why now?"

"I —"

"Why now? Why not last week? Last month? Why now?" The silkiness and beauty in her voice faded. Anger and hatred replaced it. It echoed throughout the whole room and inside my head, banging my skull as if trying to break out. "Why did you visit just now when you could've done that before? Why did you leave?"

Leave? When did I leave them?

She laughed, a sound so unlike my sister it paralyzed me. I couldn't move. "It's your boyfriend isn't it? Feels good to have one, right?"

Boyfriend? What boyfriend —

Jin.

Or was it Jaesung?

She scoffed. "Are you even capable." It seemed like she wanted to mumble, but her voice became deep, it sounded like a growl. She looked at me, her eyes piercing mine. "You can't even keep the last one. He died because of you, didn't he?"