Steel

Chapter 26

"New York City. She saw the streets covered in ash, lots of death. He showed her a version of his future in which we all die," he explained stiffly. The line was silent for a moment, then there were a few soft words spoken.

"I know. When do you want us to head to New York?" He asked, then hummed in agreement before hanging up.

"Well?" I pushed.

"We leave tonight," Grey's eyes met mine as he set his phone down on the countertop. I felt my heart skip a beat in my chest, as if it had lodged between two of my ribs and forgotten to beat again.

Tonight. This very well could be the last time I ever saw this place, the last time I was home before- well before whatever happens. I tried to ward off the ominous thoughts swirling in my head like dark clouds, but their thunder echoed in my head like a warning. If only we could run- run to the ends of the Earth and forget about everyone and everything we loved. If only we could be selfish and save ourselves.

The end was coming. Neither Grey or I knew what the world would look like after, if there would even be an after. Perhaps this was our last stand.

"You don't look so good," Grey murmured softly, making his way around the countertop and wrapping an arm gently around my waist. His lips gingerly pressed against my forehead and he rested his chin atop my head.

"I don't want this to be the end," I whispered almost inaudibly, earning a deep sigh from Grey.

"We don't know that it is," he replied.

"But we don't know that it's not," I countered. Silence followed, heavy on my chest like humidity in the air.

"Whatever happens will happen. I will be thankful for what I've been given," Grey insisted, but I wasn't sure if he was speaking to me or if it was directed to himself.

I don't know if he truly believed that. I didn't. Sure, I was beyond thankful for the beautiful life I'd been given, but it wasn't enough. How is it fair that some people get to spend their whole lives with their soulmates and I get a little over a year with mine? How is it fair that some people live to be 120 and I'll die before I hit 25? Why should I have to give up my future, my happy ending, so that others can have theirs? When is it my turn?

"I can feel that, you know. Your anguish. It's like a knife in my gut," Grey murmured, his thumb moving in concentric circles over the small of my back.

"I just want more. More life. More time with you. I don't understand why we can't have what we're fighting for others to have," I huffed.

"Somebody has to save the world," he chuckled, pulling back and brushing my hair behind my ear with his fingertips.

"I don't want it to be me anymore. Maybe once I did, maybe once I wanted to be a martyr. Not anymore. I want to be selfish and run away with you," I frowned. Grey's thumb ran along my jaw as he tilted my face to look up at him.

"Nobody wants to be a savior, Greene," he murmured. "But when we get through this, and we will, you and I will have eternity together."

He leaned down and gingerly pressed his lips to mine, as if that somehow made his promise more legitimate. We both knew it was a foolish promise to make, that it was one he didn't know if he could follow through with. The idea was enough. The idea of a forever with him was enough to make me want to fight for that future.

"Why don't you go shower, and I'll pull out our new battle-suits and make sure our weapons are locked and loaded," he hummed against my lips before pulling back.

"Wait, we got fancy battle suits like Siena?" I couldn't help the little smirk that curled on my lips. Grey chuckled and nodded.

"Okay," I agreed and hurried off upstairs to go shower. It might be the last time I had a hot shower for a while. I wasn't sure what our accommodations would be in New York, but I'm pretty sure nobody on the front lines gets a steam shower and hot towels.

I tried to savor the feeling of hot water against my skin, tried to memorize it like I would never feel it again. I didn't want to think about all the things I might never feel again, but my mind wouldn't stop. First it was the water, then it was the warmth, and then everything I knew I would miss came crashing down on me like a tsunami.

I missed my family. I wondered what would happen to them if I died, if they would be okay. I missed my mom's warm embrace, the glimmer in her eyes when she knew exactly what was going on in my head. I missed my dad being ridiculously overprotective and his obnoxious dad jokes. I missed the way his facial expressions mirrored mine, how annoyingly similar we were. I tried not to think about how the last time I saw them, I had left in the middle of the night on Christmas. I hadn't even said goodbye to my dad, out of fear he'd try to stop me. I had hardly seen my brother in the last three years.

They'd given me such a beautiful life. I might never get to thank them for that. They may have to settle for a few lines written on a tombstone, for old photographs my mom still kept hidden in dusty scrapbooks in the basement. They'd never get a goodbye, they'd likely never get the truth either. They'd get a lie tied up in a silver bow, handed to them in a coffin.

I ached for the future I wanted so badly, and I ached for the goodbyes I'd never get to have. All I ever wanted out of life was love, and I'd been given too much to give back with what little time I could have left.

So I stood in the shower, tears silently streaming down my cheeks as I swallowed the sobs that suffocated me. I didn't like emotions, and I didn't like crying, but I allowed myself this infraction. I allowed myself to mourn for the life I had wanted to live, for the love I never got to give.

HI! Once again I'm sorry it took so long to write. Life's sucked recently, so what's new lol. Anyways. Here's an emo chapter. I'm not gonna say I hope you enjoyed because I mean- it's pretty emo, especially the last part. Reminds me of prince Zuko being all *oh my honor*

But really if Zuko ain't so relatable

Also BLACK LIVES MATTER! I will continue to fight for you and use my platform as best I can to help. I've been beyond outraged these last few weeks and it's just been a very upsetting time for the world, but especially for the black community. Please know I stand with you, see you, and love you.

And if you're LGBTQ+ in the US right now I'm so sorry that your rights are being threatened by our dumbass of a president. I also stand with you, see you, and love you.

If you're upset with the world right now, I'm right there with you. We will push this world to be better, because it has to be.

Have a great week you all. Til next chap :)

-TJ