Letting Go

Chapter 18:

I've learned through most of this journey that letting go is the most difficult thing in the world. Esspecially when it comes to someone you loved: a mother, a father, a child, and anything else that leaves a toll on you. Losing someone important in your life starts a war within you- it rips you apart until you can take no more. The misunderstanding the confusion, it's awful but we must live with it.

I shut the computer after that sentence and look over at Julian. He sleeps beside me his muscles tight and fists clenched. I place my hand on his cheek then move on to his hands gently unclenching his fists. He takes a breath then blinks open his eyes meeting my own.

"What are you doing?"

"You were very tense." I whisper back placing my hand on his arm.

"Did I wake you?"

"No, I was writing. But, are you ok?"

He nods and sits up grabbing my hand and lacing his fingers through mine.

"I am." He says and I put my head on his shoulder.

"What were you dreaming about this time?"

"Death again." He mutters and I give his hand a squeeze.

"Just focus on me here with you, I'm alive you're alive."

"Ok." I go to release his hand but he just holds it tighter. His evened out breathing tells me that he's back asleep. I turn to look up at him and see his eyes shut. I keep my hand in his because at this point his hand's so tight around mine I couldn't get out even if I wanted to. I release him down so that he's laying and his hand opens releasing mine. I brush his hair out of his face then lay down beside him and fall asleep as well.

**************

I wake up the next morning finding Serena sound asleep next to me. Her shoulders lift and drop with the easy and calm breathing she produces. Her face shines in the light which fans around her from the window. She looks so peaceful and happy. I stroke her face the softness of it so unbelievable.

I sit there staring at her for what feels like hours before I get up and walk into the bathroom. I get in and turn on the shower.

******

The sound of water pounding gently on the floor wakes me up. I look around then here the shower shut off. I stand up and stretch then lay back down exhausted.

Aw screw it, I'm going back to bed.

And with that I fall back asleep.

**

I exit the shower and pull a towel around my waist then was back into the main room. I see Serena still sound asleep and I change into jeans and a shirt.

I bend over the bed and lean down to her level shaking her awake. She moans and swats at me the first time and I shake her again.

"Noooooo I wanna sleep." She whines and I roll my eyes.

"Serena, it's me. Get up." I say and she snaps open her eyes and freezes catching me leaning an inch over her face. She stares at me for a long time then she blinks and I raise an eyebrow at her.

"What time is it?" She asks awkwardly and I look over my shoulder at the clock on the wall.

"Noon." I say backing up so she can sit up. She gets up and stretches then grabs a towel from the closet.

"Give me thirty minutes then we are going to the ranch."

"Serena it's not safe."

"Oh please, nowhere is safe." She says then walks into the bathroom shutting the door.

Oh lord....

******

We park the car and I climb out looking around the place first.

"Alright it's clear, let's go." I say and she climbs out after me.

"So what exactly are we doing here?" I ask and she grabs a rope from in her bag and a gun.

"We are releasing the women down there first, then hunting for more clues."

"Do you know how risky this is? And those women are probably dead."

"Then it'll be a quick trip. One of them warned me thee was danger approaching I just didn't listen."

"Fine, but if I get a bad feeling we are leaving." I say and she rolls her eyes but nods.

**

"Everything clear!?" I call down from the top.

"Yeah!" Julian calls and I grip onto the rope.

"Alright I'm coming down!" I call then jump into the hole releasing the rope and falling quickly down.

"Serena!" He exclaims then I land in his arms.

"What were you thinking?" He asks gripping me to him.

"That you'd catch me." I say and he meets my eyes.

"And if I didn't?"

"Well, then I'd be mud coated." I say swinging out of his arms and landing infront of him.

"Now, let's go." I say pushing in the bullets and clicking my safety on.

"A pistol?"

"If we get separated I want something to keep myself protected with." I say and he sighs nodding and turning on his flashlight.

I press against the wall and it gives, then we step through.

We both shine our flashlights all around the area then start walking.

"I want you right by my side this entire time." He says and I sigh but nod.

"Ok." I say as we continue to walk.

**

"I don't understand this is where they were! Why is everything gone!?" I exclaim hitting the wall.

"They probably relocated."

I huff and continue walking.

"Where are you going?"

"There was a room back here." I say pushing the mirror away and slipping into the small room. I click on my flashlight and shine it around the room.

"Julian come in here!" I call shining the light on the tunnels that line the back wall.

He steps in and walks over to me.

"Yes?"

"These weren't here when I was in here last." I say shining the light on each tunnel.

"What was there?"

"A wall." I say stepping towards them.

"Which one?" I ask him and he pulls me back.

"No way."

"Oh please let's go. I wanna figure this out."

"You're curiosity will be the death of you." He hisses and I nod.

"Yeah well I'm a journalist, it's what I do."

Then I step in through the middle tunnel.

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