our hearts are made of steel

10. Silhouette

The clouds were shedding tears of joy, they fell with a rhythmic beat. The wind kissed her neck and bare arms, giving her vicious goosebumps. Her blonde hair swayed in the wind. She felt the breeze travelling down her spine, underneath her thin shirt.The time was passing by around her but she was unaware. Her bare feet were grazed from walking on the concrete but the blood washed away with the rain into the drains. She didn't feel the pain from the numbness. Her clothes were soaked through and she couldn't tell whether her face held rain or tears. The patter of the soft rain was loud overhead but all she could hear was the piercing ringing that filled her head. It was almost deafening but the blonde girl ignored it. She had given in to the cold and darkness that surrounded her. She had given in to the deafening noise and the concrete that continued to break her skin. The lights of nearby billboards and car headlights were illuminating her face and her blue eyes glistened in the darkness. She was giving up... but that was until a delicate hand wrapped around her wrist.

The morning hadn't started off well for Clarke. Murphy had picked her up early in the morning for their shift and the two of them were assigned to an operation. Three hours into the operation the patient died and Clarke couldn't help but blame herself.

She was pacing around outside the operation room with her hand pressed against her ears. A loud ringing had struck the blondes ear's and her head was throbbing. She didn't notice Murphy's presence until he was holding her tightly.

"It's not your fault, Griffin. You did everything you could." He said, quietly.

"I could've saved her. I could've tried harder." She stuttered, fighting back tears. She refused to cry. 

"There was nothing that could be done for her, okay. Don't beat yourself up." Murphy said, tightening his grip on her.

Clarke didn't reply and just hugged Murphy silently for a moment. 

"I uh.. I need some fresh air." Clarke muttered.

"Take the rest of the day off Griffin. I can drive you-"

"No no, it's okay I'll walk." She said

"I really don't think that you should walk home. I can drive you." He protested.

"I'll be fine. I'm in the mood to walk." Clarke sighed.

She left the building in a hurry, too many thoughts hogging her mind. She stumbled slightly into the streets, trying to clear her head. She headed for the nearest bar and sat down.

"What would you like?" The bartender asked.

"Anything just make it strong." Clarke said dryly. 

"Bad day?" She asked.

"Something like that." Clarke murmured. 

The bartender nodded in understanding and went to get her a drink. A man came up and sat down next to her but Clarke barely noticed his presence when the bartender placed down her drink. 

"Thank you." Clarke said, throwing her drink back.

"No problem. If you need me just ask for Niylah." The woman said softly before tending to another customer.

"Didn't expect to see a face like yours in a place like this." The man next to her said.

"Me neither" Clarke hummed and the man chuckled.

"What's your name?" He asked, curiously 

"Clarke and you are?" She asked, expecting an answer but instead his eyes widened.

"Clarke. As in Clarke Griffin?" He asked, sceptically.

"Uh yeah. How do you know me?" Clarke sobered up quickly.