AN/ sorry, a lot of jumping in the beginning... Also mention of torture later on
San
After being home a few days we have recorded the songs and have been learning the dances, so we can have the fans vote on which song we should promote. All of us are split on which song we like more between Wave and Illusion.
"I'll be happy either way," I say, while talking to the others during our practice break.
"I agree, both songs are crazy fun," Woo says, and stands up giving a bit of the dance. We all laugh at his antics and he sits back down.
"So, what do we think will happen?" HongJoong asks us. All of us are split on the decision ourselves so none of us know what will happen.
:@:
That first week we watch the numbers of votes for the songs, staying at a steady 50/50, and we are all nervous. We get ready, making the short dance videos, for the next batch of voting and things are going well.
:@:
"Alrighty boys, they just put up the videos for the fans to vote on." HongJoong says, coming in with his laptop. He hooks it up to the TV and we can see the votes going up, but keeping steady again.
"Oh, wow." I say as I watch the numbers settle back to 50/50. "They really are split," I sigh. Woo is sitting next to me on the couch, and I feel him lean on me. He's been getting clingier and it makes me happy. I look over to see everyone yawning, it's late and we are all tired.
"I guess we should all go to bed," SeongHwa hyung says, looking at everyone. Nobody seems to argue as we all go to our rooms. Some of us have changed roommates, Yunho is now with Mingi, Jongho with Yeosang, and Woo and I now share a room.
We all head to our rooms, and get ready for bed. I lay down and watch Woo get changed into his nightclothes, he always seems like a self confident guy on stage, but when he's around me, alone, he is like a shy kid. I smile at him when he sits on the bed, and pull him down into a tight cuddle, which makes him giggle.
"Night Sannie," he whispers after turning the bedside lamp off.
"Night Woo," I say with a smile, and we drift off into sleep, excited for what the next day will bring.
:@:
"Hey Woo, do you really want to stay with me?" I ask, hoping he says yes. We are in a park close to the house, and I am sitting on one of the swings. He looks at me with his mousey eyes and takes my face in his hands.
"Sannie, I wouldn't be here if I didn't love you," he tells me, and I can feel in my heart that he's telling the truth. I sigh heavily and sit him down next to me on a swing that's open.
"I know you wanted me to open up to you sooner, but I didn't know how. I'm still not sure how, but I feel like I need to tell you." I say, looking at him, he is watching me with a sweet look on his face. I take a deep breath and take his hand in mine.
"I've never been good at opening up to people, not after my uncle. He tortured me as a kid, I was twelve. He took me to hell and tortured me for a year." I say, and I can feel him squeeze my hand.
"How long was that for you in hell?" he asks quietly.
"120 years, nobody really knows how time works 100% but we do know that one month, no matter the length, is 10 years.," I say and I feel his hand tighten more, but in a pained way. I look at him and he has glassy eyes, trying to hold back tears. I lightly touch his cheek and he leans into it.
"I was tortured day in, day out, for the whole time. My father was looking for me, along with my aunt, but they couldn't find him. My uncle had a way of changing where his room was that he kept me in, evading them.
Thankfully one day he got sloppy, and Rose found me. She called for Lily and my father, which is when I was bound to them. Salem came to me when I came home to Korea. He helped me find my magic, and find ways to protect myself." I tell him. I watch as the sun is rising, why did we wake up so early? I can hear a kid running around on the playground around us.
"When I came home I couldn't sleep at all, not without waking everyone, so my aunt made my room for me. The one we go to have heard me scream more times than I care to count. When I started to calm down with Rose and Lily's help that's when I decided to continue school." I say, taking a deep breath, this next part is the part that I dread telling him.
I look into his eyes and see myself reflecting in them, and he is giving me a reassuring smile. I take a few shaky breaths and look away, letting go of his hand. I'm not proud of this, I never have been, but it's what I did.
"In high school, before I met you guys, hell, before KQ was even in my thoughts, my father came to me. He wanted help, and I was just happy to be around my father again. He wasn't around much as a kid, so I was just happy to see him." I say hanging my head, holding it in my hands.
"I didn't know what he wanted me to do, I didn't know it was real. He told me it was nothing and that everything would be fine, but he took me to hell on a regular basis. He would point me to a human, a person, and tell me how to cut them, saying it's to learn. I changed as a person after that, the Dark one you met in my head a while back... that was me.
My father made me into what he wanted, an heir, a demon. Eventually he saw that I had changed too much, and when he tried to get me back I broke down." I say, curling in as I feel the air around us get colder.
"And when I had the girls take that man away... I went and tortured him, just like my uncle had done to me. I know I'm a horrible person, I am sorry. If you want to push me away I would understand," I mumble. I feel a hand rest on my back, and I look up seeing Woo standing next to me.
The sky is no longer shades of purple and pink, but dark grays. Dark clouds over us, as I see him take my hands I feel how cold he is. I pull him in, wanting to warm him, but I feel him start to break in my hands.
I stop and stare at where he is standing, crumbling in front of me. I hear a dark laugh, and I close my eyes recognizing the deep laugh. No, this can't be. I think as I feel the cold slowly turning into heat.
Opening my eyes I see myself standing in front of someone on one of the torture racks. This isn't like my normal nightmares! I realize as I look around.
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Accepting: Hidden Self
قصص الهواةA story of San trying coming to terms with who he is and who his family is, while trying to realize that he can be his true self around his new family, just as he was with his real family. There will be magic, suffering, love, and some tears along t...
