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because promises murder us backwards when people like me don’t keep them

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was a soft incessant noise he could hear just above the wheeze and groan of the TARDIS engines, but every attempt he made to discover the source of it seemed futile. He’d just dropped off Dorium’s head – a life in shadows, a life of nights that he was eager to start. Finally.

“What is it, old girl? Just – just tell me.” The TARDIS groaned, and the beeping persisted, as the Doctor’s hands flew over the typewriter, his eyes scanning the screen above his head. Finally – finally – the beeping desisted and a message appeared on the screen.

MEMORY BANKS FAILING. PLEASE SEND HELP. CAL.

His hearts dropped as he stared at the words. “No. No no no no no! I haven’t had time yet – no!” She scanned the code of the message, tracing its signature. “When was this sent?” He swallowed heavily, his hearts in his throat. Two hundred years – two hundred years he’d had to say goodbye and never once had he returned to that place. Never once had he thought about saving her in any permanent kind of way. After all – he was headed to his own death and he thought – he’d thought – “No!” He pounded a hand against the console and the TARDIS whirred in high-pitched irritation.

“Sorry, sorry girl – but please. Please. Help me – no, not me. Help her. Help River.” The TARDIS seemed to vibrate at that, shiver all around him and the numbers on the screen increased in speed, flying by rapidly – so rapidly he couldn’t even keep up anymore. Soon enough numbers flashed on the screen and without him even moving a muscle, dials flipped and switched, and the lever pulled back, sending them whirling into the Vortex. He gripped the console and hung on tightly, watching the screen as they re-materialized in orbit around the planet.

The Library.

His wife’s tomb. He shuddered at the thought, staring at the screen as the TARDIS whirred in concentration, code after code flying across the screen. Finally a fuzzy picture appeared – a very small, very scared, very familiar little girl.

“Doctor!” She smiled in relief. “I knew you’d come – I just knew you would. I’m so, so sorry Doctor. The lateral memory banks have taken damage. The Library files – my files are fine. But that’s where I stored them all, Doctor. We lost Dave first – Miss Evangelista... I can’t save them – their programs are too old to be properly transferred.” She spoke in a distressed voice and the Doctor frowned up at her.

“River – is she – River’s still intact?” His voice felt too thick to properly push its way out of his throat and he looked up helplessly as Charlotte nodded.

“She wanted to make room, Doctor. Asked me to delete her first.” Charlotte bit her lip and the Doctor’s hearts squeezed together in his chest. Oh, River. “I told her that her memory files were more complicated than that. More complicated than the others because she was uploaded direct. I haven’t forgotten my promise to you, Doctor.”

“How long – how has she – can we repair the memory from here?” He was speaking to the TARDIS now – the ominous press of time against his shoulders and back. He didn’t have time to play catch up. The TARDIS hummed in concentration and CAL closed her eyes with a smile of delight.

“She – your ship – she’s making a connection. I can transfer River’s files to her matrix, but she can’t take the others.” The ship shuddered and the Doctor watched as the readout showed room after room after room being deleted rapidly.

“She has to make room. But – but River will be alone.” He whispered. And he would carry her ghost around with him forever. He felt tears sting his eyes and he rubbed a hand over his face. “Would she want that? Sexy – stop, we have to think. Would she want that?” The ship ignored him, deleting and deleting and deleting, groaning with irritation and he thought if she were still human, she’d be livid. “It’s her life. What’s left of it. I put her in that data core and I didn’t know any better. I was ignorant and stupid. I didn’t know any better. She would have hated it –she would have- ”

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