Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

41(G)

it’s all fun and games (until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant)

“River?” He swore that the TARDIS and his wife had some sort of super secret psychic pact about ganging up against him. Honestly. He’d been working on repairs, and granted he may have gotten a bit involved in them – he seemed to recollect River speaking to him from above quite a while ago but he had been in the process of rewiring the thermo couplings and it was a delicate procedure, a fact she well knew - but he’d been looking for River for what felt like hours now. Wandering the corridors like a mad man, calling her name.

And the TARDIS was being of no particular help either, not even when he asked very extra nicely and stroked her in just that way that always made her hum pleasantly under his fingertips. Now all he got was silent stillness from his ship, endless corridors and his wife was nowhere to be found. “River?” He called out again, turning around a bend and stopping, trying to remember if he’d gone this way once already.

Seven more turns and the discovery of three rooms he was sure had been deleted later, he finally almost tripped over her.  She was sitting cross-legged on the floor of a toilet they hardly ever used, because it was a good fifty minute walk into the interior of the ship, while their own was so much more conveniently located. “River? I have been looking for you for ages. What’re you doing all the way back here? Did I do something? Because if I did I apologise and would like to remind you that the last time I put the thermo couplings on the fritz, we almost exploded and tore a giant hole in time and space. So really, I couldn’t quite pay attention because the universe was at stake.”

She didn’t even look up, and he felt his hearts accelerate in his chest. Oh. The silent treatment. It was a tactic rarely employed by River because she knew full well how worked up he got when he didn’t get a response. She stared down at her hands, folded in her lap, and didn’t even respond to his rambling explanation. “Okay well not the entire universe. We are parked. You know, for the repairs. So I suppose I could have paid more attention but I was just caught up! River. Come on. I promise not to ignore you anymore. River.”

Still no answer and he began to feel worry creep up on him. What if it had nothing to do with not listening to her earlier? It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done something completely insensitive without thinking because he was distracted. He thought over the last few days, trying to pin point if he’d done anything particularly idiotic. Well, idiotic enough to make her mad. Well, angry. She was often going on about how much of an idiot he was. He usually argued, because he was actually a genius. But then, so was she, and she also managed to be very smart about the practical things like not getting distracted and remembering important things, like doing the environmental checks and always being prepared to run. She was rather spectacular actually. He grinned before glancing back down at her – she hadn’t moved. Hadn’t even actually shown any sign she’d heard anything he’d just said. “River.” He slid down to sit next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and shaking her gently. “Are you alright? Talk to me, please.”

She looked up at him, a dazed expression on her face as she blinked in surprise. “What sweetie?”

“What’s wrong? What is it?” He was panicked now, and made no effort to hide that fact. “I’ve been looking for you for ages. I was calling your name; the TARDIS wouldn’t tell me where you were. You didn’t even hear anything I just said! I rambled River. Ridiculously andreally off point and you didn’t even tell me to stop being an idiot like you always do. What. Is. Wrong.”

“Oh honey, no – I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you. And I came all the way back here because I wanted to put it off, I suppose.” She fidgeted slightly, her hands clenching and relaxing as she looked up at him. If he didn’t know better he’d say she looked... afraid. But she was River Song. And those two things just did not go together naturally in his head.