Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

10(G)

he holds me so tight and turns me to gold in the sunlight

“Promise you won’t forget us, Doctor.”

“Oh I doubt that Ponds. River would never forgive me.”

“Promise anyway.”

“I promise.”

~*~*~
After Berlin it had occurred to him in a moment of brilliant insight in the middle of the night.

He’d been sitting in his repair swing, fixing things that didn’t need fixing while the Ponds slept, keeping his hands and mind busy with menial tasks to outrun the guilty thoughts that surrounded the image of River in his mind.

Twice she’d sacrificed herself for him. He hadn’t wanted it, but of course he couldn’t change what she’d done, and probably wouldn’t anyway. She’d given him all her regenerations and what would he do with them?

Live a long, bitter, lonely life once she went to the Library.

Once she died there. Neither of them could have survived the transfer.

He closed his eyes, and swung for a moment, his hands slackly holding two loose wires. The memory of her face rose in his mind. Hush now, spoilers. The blinding flash of light, and then... nothing.

Nothing, not even a body to bring back to her parents, to cradle in his arms – she’s just been gone.

He sat up suddenly, the TARDIS issuing an encouraging hum as he opened his eyes. “How could she just be gone?” He whispered to himself, but the ship hummed around him, insistent and growing in pitch. “Bodies don’t just burn up. There should have been something. In fact-” He leapt up, the wires dangling loose as he brushed them aside and paced back and forth quickly. “In fact, her body shouldn’t have been affected at all. Data surge that big – her mind and hearts would have been gone like that,” he snapped, “but her body – where was her body?”

He paused and the TARDIS whirred in excitement. “Oh. Oh. Oh you idiot!” He smacked himself on the head and grinned. “But that would mean it would have to be while I’m – and not until – and I still have to make – yes. Oh yes. You know what I am Sexy?” He laughed in delight, twirling on the spot with his arms spread out. “I’m brilliant.”

~*~*~

“Now your turn.”

“Our turn what?”

“There are things I haven’t told you two. But one day I’m going to come here, and I’m going to need your help, and you have to promise to give it to me. No questions asked.”

“Help with what Doctor?”

“Can’t tell you. But promise me anyway.”

“I promise, Doctor. We promise.”

~*~*~
Everything hurt.

Really he could have been patient. Waited for his natural end, but he’d given her the screwdriver and kissed her goodnight and sent her to her death and it felt like that action alone should have been enough to kill him.

But nobody ever died of broken hearts – not even him.

He materialised silently in their garden, and waited. River had left her Alpha Mason gun behind at his request – trading it for Jack’s squareness gun instead. He closed his eyes and waited for the Ponds.

She’d been happy, and beautiful – just as he remembered when he first met her. Her hair a bit longer and darker. She’d just been sohappy, and he hadn’t realized why until halfway through the evening. She thought that this meant they were linear – from here on out. He’d cried when he realized – given her the screwdriver anyway, because his younger self needed to believe he’d saved her in some way.