In The Dark

Chapter 22

Ryder

"Can I say something?"

"No..."

"One thing."

"I'm busy right now."

"Is it because you got fired?"

"No. It's not because I got fired. Just give me a minute, woman."

"Woman?! What is up with you today? First, you call me and tell me we're going to the fair again without asking me two days prior...again. Then, you get fired from your job and don't even care."

"I don't care, because Devon was doing me a favor. I was going to quit anyhow."

"And get what job? You know you have no friends to get you recommendations."

"Am I that much of a man to you?"

Vanessa was really testing my patience at this point. I hadn't gone to the fair yet, so I knew why she was being a butt. It is true that I called Nessa out and not by her real name. I was being like Zach and didn't even notice it.

As I threw the last papers aside, I turned around to see why Nessa had gotten so quiet. She was holding some of the papers I had thrown with her eyes wide open. I didn't know if she was scared or just surprised at what she was reading. I went over to her and snatched the papers out of her hands. She only looked up at me and blinked.

"What?" I snapped. I wasn't even going to explain anything to her. When I looked down at the papers in her hand, I realized what they were. Dang it. Why didn't I put these away sooner? They were the records of all my bank transactions. It showed Vanessa that I was indeed a very rich man and all my money excuses were lies. Was she going to be mad or happy? I couldn't tell.

"I can explain," I started.

"No," she breathed. I waited for her to continue. "...Why? Why did you lie to me? Why was it so hard for you to just say you wanted to spend less?"

"Nessa, it's not what it looks like." I went to put the papers on my desk and went back to her. "I was planning to tell you soon, but I didn't know how to? How would I explain everything to you without giving away too much?"

"Giving away too much? What else could you possibly be hiding from me that's worse than hiding the fact that you aren't broke?"

"The problem is it's not bad. Not bad at all, Nessa."

"Then, what is it?"

"I don't know how to say it. I don't want to say it and something bad happens to us."

Vanessa sighed and bit her lip. I reached out to her, but she backed away and swatted at my hands.

"Tell me, Ryder," she growled. "I don't like being kept in the dark about things."

"Nessa," I whined. "I wanted it to be a complete surprise to you. What if something bad happens after I tell you. I'd be looking like a fool."

"What could possibly make you feel like something bad is going to happen if you tell me?"

I sighed and crossed my arms.

"Vanessa...I was going to ask you to...marry me," I muttered. "I didn't want to tell you and then something happened to us. I was saving up for the wedding."

Vanessa was quiet for a moment. I dared to look her in the eyes and wondered what she was thinking right now. I didn't know if she was happy or if she thought I was lying. I wasn't. Even if I was throwing mixed signals to her, it didn't mean that I didn't want her. Even if I was messing with Ren, it didn't mean I didn't want her. I sincerely want to spend the rest of my life with her.