Chapter 04 - The Dream (July 02, 2020)

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Date posted: July 02, 2020

Chapter 04 - The Dream

In the beginning of this dream, Mark Perseus was still conscious that he was dreaming. Lucid, he was still aware that he came from something more vivid. He knew that this place wasn't real, because where else would that pain go? 

Nawala 'yung sakit na nararamdaman niya. Physically when he hit something he couldn't even remember now. And that little throb in his heart he was carrying for a long time. Everything... was just gone.

But the more Perci stayed in this dream, the more he starts to believe that it's real. Just like in any other dream. The longer he drowns in this world of make-belief, the less he becomes conscious about the reality that is just one blink away.

All he has to do, is to open his eyes, and he'll see. Pero hindi niya alam 'yun. At ayaw niyang dumilat. Lalo na ngayon.

Because unlike the many times he dreamed about this very same scenario, this time, he didn't want to wake up. Because it wasn't a nightmare anymore. It was like he is living a fantasy in a half-realized dream.

"Sasapak na 'yan! Sasapak na 'yan!" Kantsaw ng mga bata.

He looked down on himself. He is back on his pre-pubescent years. And he knew exactly what was happening. Like he went back in time. 

Hindi ba't lang beses na niya itong napagdaanan? Not just in other repeated dreams, but also in heaps of secret daydreams. This scenario was never a stranger to his consciousness. It was a thing in the past. A turning point that may have resulted to a different kind of Perci if it didn't happen. Or only if he made a different decision back then.

In hindsight, he was always grateful for it. But he wished he could've reacted differently, or perhaps more maturely. But he was young. And his limited experiences didn't allow him to give the best reaction at that time.

Kaya sa ilang ulit. Ilang balik. Alam niya na ngayon ang gagawin.

"Isang sapak lang! Isa lang!" Inihain ng lalaki ang mukha nito sa kanya. Pero ngayon, imbis na magalit, he took one step backwards. Almost as if allowing the little girl to smack the fvck out of the boy's face.

The guy glared at her. And Perci laughed even before the joke arrived. Because he knew what was coming.

"M-may... lamok." Sabi ni Lee just how he expects it. A very funny excuse even from a high schooler.

"Anak ng!" Si Gino. "Sino ka? Sino 'tong kutong lupa na 'to?"

Perci smiled even more. But unlike the thousand other versions of this before, he didn't cry. He didn't pout. He even shoved his body in front of the girl as if shielding her. Like the thousand times he imagined revising what happened.

"Tama na..." He said. For the first time, he was able to defend her. Even in this way. Even in this world.

And maybe because this was his dream that everything changed.

The bullies all run away just by the thunder of his voice. He was not the Perci from before. Because he knew too well what he needed to do know.

To protect her...

Like how she deserved it.

And everything changed.

In this lifetime, it flashed-forward to something different...

They say that your whole life will present itself to you in the moment of death, but to Perci ,it's different. What flashed before his eyes, is a different life. His unlived life. Unlived dreams. 

In this parallel universe, there was no Odyssey. It was just him and Lee. He didn't know why, but maybe it was the guilt that removed his brother out of this life. Or maybe because it was the very guilt that he wanted to take away.

They grow up together.

Spent their life together.

It was all perfect, until the time comes that she became sick.

Ang daming ulit. Ang daming pagkakataon. Pero hanggang dito, ganoon pa rin ang hantong.

Perci didn't know why even he can't prevent it. He can't do anything about it, even though this is his dream.

"Goodbye..." She said in her last breathe.

"No!" He shouted.

He refused to face reality because he didn't want to witness this... But in the end, even in trance he can't seem to escape. Even in his dreams.

"I want to wake up! Please wake me up! Please!" Nagmamakaawang sigaw niya.

Ilang ulit. Hanggang sa mapagod siya.

And then he felt as if he's peeling his own soul from down under. And suddenly, he felt warmth, from his fingertips, as it spreads all over.

He's awake.

"Marky?!" He heard a voice.

And he's not sure if he can finally breathe a sigh of relief that all of those weren't true... or be more guilty that he created a fantasy while slipping into reverie.

He opened finally opened his eyes and welcomed the pain...

And he's not sure of what's more painful, his dream or the reality.

I'm sorry kuya. His first thought as tears stream down his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

What did you do? What the hell did his subconscious made him think?

His guilt is more painful that his injuries, and he just wants to die.


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