it was always you // logince

♡ 19 : center of attention ♡

*tw: lots of arguing, uhh a mess, mental health stuff*

Despite him saying he didn't want to talk, Roman was suddenly at Logan's home.

"Oh. I thought..." Logan said. "Do- Do you want to talk about whatever happened?"

Roman opened his mouth and closed it again. "I don't even know why I came," he muttered. Tears slipped down his cheeks.

Logan went to wipe them away, but Roman covered his face to prevent Logan from touching.

"Oh," Logan squeezed out and put his hands behind his back. "So do you just- What-..." If Roman didn't tell him what he needed, what was he supposed to provide? "Would you like to sit?"

Roman looked so empty behind his eyes. He thought about it but shook his head.

"So then- Wh-"

"I don't know!" he said, exasperated. "I don't want to see anyone right now, I don't want you to talk to me or touch me but I do and I don't know what to do because I'm just- I-I hate it! I hate this!"

"What is 'this'?"

"Everything!"

"That's extremely vague."

"God, talk like a person for once or just shut up!"

Logan's blood began to boil. "How am I not talking like a person? Slightly more formal language doesn't mean I don't have emotions! I'm trying my best to get through to you but you won't let me do anything! What's gotten into you?"

Roman would come to realize later that Abigail's impact on him was much more powerful than he thought.

"If you don't like me, just- just fucking go. If you don't want me to give a shit, then I won't," Logan grumbled. "I just think it's dumb for you to show up and then not want me here. I thought you l- Whatever."

Roman could barely hear what Logan was saying. All he could hear was the voice in his head screaming incoherently at him. And the sound of gunshots.

Logan softened. Roman was really testing his patience. "I understand something horrible must be going on right now. You don't have to give me every detail, but you came to me for a reason, even if you don't know what it is."

Roman still couldn't respond.

"Just... Take some time and talk to me or Dr. Picani whenever you're ready." He lowered his voice to just above a whisper. "And apologize because you're being an asshole right now."

"Not everything is about you," Roman stated.

That set off something in Logan's system. He crossed his arms and stood up tall. "You're right. Not everything is about me. That's because it's always been about you. I was your 'experiment' in high school. I saved your life at senior prom. You put so much pressure on me when you kissed me while you were with Abigail, but I kept everything under wraps because I guess that's what I fucking get for loving you, huh? I know mental health can cause unexpected actions but that doesn't make this any better. This entire conversation was about you, and the second I expect a fucking apology, you say it's about me? You're being an inconsiderate piece of shit right now. You forget I'm suffering too, every day. You love to be the center of attention, just like you always have. And I thought you might have grown up."

That hit an especially painful spot in Roman's heart. "Lo-"

"Stop." Logan was crying and shaking but the rest of him acted as though nothing was happening. He looked Roman straight in the eye with a sad smile on his lips. "You don't want to talk to me? I don't want to talk to you either. Please go home. Obviously in your eyes I'm not good enough."