Muted (DISCONTINUED)

29

He called the boy, and smiled as he seemingly told his boyfriend something of reassurance, and headed over to him with a slightly nervous smile. He led him down to his office and had him sit down.

"How are you today, Blaine?" He asked, leaning back and getting out his materials.

"I'm doing pretty good, actually." Blaine replied with a smile. Blaine fidgeted a bit in his chair, still a bit nervous. He'd never actually had a male therapist before. It was different, but not as bad as he thought.

"That's good to hear. Anything happen over the week you want to tell me about?" He asked, jumping right into it. Blaine seemed to hesitate, but shook his head. Mr. Brooks studied him. "Anything you should be telling me about? Everything here is confidential." He assured. He watched Blaine think and let him take his time. One thing he learned teenagers needed was patience. When he first started out as a kids therapist, they needed a lot of coaxing and bribery to talk, but he'd learned that it's better to let teens open up on their own time. It helps them to feel more in control of themselves.

"One or two nightmares, but it's okay. I have my friends. It doesn't matter." Blaine said quickly.

"Your nightmares matter to me if they're bothering you. Are they about something in specific?"

Blaine nodded.

"Care to tell me what about?" Dr. Brooks asked. Blaine looked away without answering, and he could see the tense posture he had. "We don't need to go that far yet if you don't want to. Have you had them in the past?" Blaine nodded very slightly but looked uncomfortable. Dr. Brooks decided to drop the subject for now.

"So, I saw you had a boyfriend out in the lobby. Don't worry, I support anybody and everybody, but I wanted to ask you a question." He changed the subject, seeing Blaine relax when he said he wasn't against him having a boyfriend. Blaine was ready to march out of there if he had a problem with it. He listened to his question.

"Do you think you spend most of your time looking after your boyfriend, or looking after yourself?"

Blaine's response was immediate. "I spend as much time as I can looking after Kurt, because he needs me." He said, getting defensive about himself or Kurt, he wasn't sure. Dr. Brooks nodded. It was what he thought.

"Does he need you that much though?" He asked.

"You don't know Kurt!" Blaine raised his voice. Then his eyes widened, he didn't usually get mad at others like that.

"Blaine, I'm just asking you a question." The doctor said, writing some things down. He noted that Blaine seemed afraid of his yelling. That meant it wasn't intentional.

"What are you writing?" Blaine asked, a but quietly and also kind of grumpy in a way.

"I can show you, but you won't understand." He said,  giving Blaine his clipboard. He figured it was better than not showing him, though he could feel how agitated Blaine was getting.

"What do you mean by potential self worth issues?" Blaine spat. He was fine. He knew he wasn't worthless. He didn't sob about not being enough every night. This was bs.

"Blaine, they're notes that help me think about how to help you. I'm not judging you."

"Sure you aren't. I think just finely of myself, thank you very much." He crossed his arms. Now Dr. Brooks understood why Blaine had irritability as one of his past symptoms. He decided now was a good time to be a bit more serious with Blaine before he stormed out.

"Blaine. I'm here to help you. And getting frustrated with me or yourself isn't going to get either of us anywhere." He said, putting his hands on the table. "Maybe you should take a minute out in the hall to collect yourself."

Blaine stood up and glared at him. "Fine." He walked outside, being sure to close the door hard enough to show his anger but not so much as to make people question what was going on. He sat down in a chair in the hallway.

Dr. Brooks went through his notes so far. He'd learned two things already. Blaine had nightmares, an indication of lingering trauma he wasn't over, or new trauma. And it seemed that his anger was directly related to both himself and the people who he cared about being doubted or attacked. He wondered if Blaine had a history of people teaching him to feel like that about himself. He obviously had issues putting others before himself in a way that could be harmful to him. He wrote some more things down and pulled out some papers. Maybe some homework would do the boy some good. He walked over to the door and knocked on it before opening it, to find a very distraught Blaine in the hallway, failing to hide a few tears. He gave him a sympathetic smile and held the door for him.

"We better now?" He asked as Blaine took a seat. The boy glared at him a bit but didn't seem as short tempered as before. He put some papers in front of Blaine. "I have some homework for you."

"I get enough in school already."

"It's different homework. And you only need to do it if the time comes up. Any time you feel angry, I want you to write down why you're angry, and two things you can do to calm your anger." He said, pointing out the places on the sheets. "Bring anything you've written back to each session."

Blaine took them and nodded, not wanting to argue. "Look... I'm sorry I yelled... I'm just kinda stressed all the time, ya know?" Blaine suddenly apologized. Yeah, Dr. Brooks thought, he definitely had problems with anger. It wasn't him doing it intentionally. He must've been taught to act like that, and he couldn't blame him.

"Stressed you say?"

Blaine nodded a bit. "Why?"

"Blaine, I think you need to take some time out of your day to focus on yourself." He said, opening a drawer. "Color preference."

"Blue... and I take care of myself fine." He said. Dr. Brooks threw him a blue stress ball. "Well, at least for this week, I want you to take an hour every day to take some time alone." Blaine played with the stress ball and didn't look up as he spoke. But he was listening.

"And just tell me how you feel after this week." He finished.

"I can't." Blaine stated.

"Why not?"

"Kurt needs me." Blaine said, looking up at him. "He gets scared when he's not with me."

Dr. Brooks thought for a moment. "If you can't find a time to get alone, see if you can find some quiet time with him and just read on your own for a bit. He doesn't have to be away from you for you to have alone time." He suggested. Blaine nodded.

"I-I'll try." he smiled a bit.

They went through their end of session questions and signed the confidentiality contract, and Blaine left. In a worse mood, yes. Did he feel more free though? Absolutely.

Almost twice as long as normal!