Daughter of Heaven (WIP - On Hiatus)

Chapter 20 - The reason why

"I pray to Castiel. Cas, get your ass down here. Something's up with Sam. And Allegra. I need help with her too."

It barely took a second for Castiel to appear in the room. The trench-coat-wearing angel nodded in greeting.

"Hello."

"Yeah, whatever." Dean couldn't help but sound irritated. "Look, I'm gonna cut straight to the chase here; why isn't Allegra allowed to love anyone?"

"I... I don't know what you're talking about."

But that brief hesitation and Castiel looking away as he spoke betrayed that he knew exactly what Dean was talking about.

"You know what, cut the crap, okay?! I know you and your buddies are watching Allegra; you always are. You know she was here, and you know what we were talking about. I need an answer, Cas, and I'm not gonna ask again."

He glared dangerously at Castiel, but the angel only tilted his head at him, eyes squinted to an inquiring slit.

"You feel strongly about this. Why?"

Dean scoffed.

"Why? Seriously? You're playing with her like she's a freaking puppet, that's why! Pulling at her strings, making her go one way and then the other, treating her like crap! You're making her do things she doesn't want to do, forcing her to hurt others, to hurt herself. She's lived alone and miserably ever since that bastard Gabriel left her to fend for herself. Allegra has nothing a woman her age should have. No home, no real job, no family, no friends... She's stuck with Bobby and us, for crying out loud! She's terrified of being close to anyone, of being with me and..."

"Is that what you want?" interrupted Castiel. "For her to be with you?"

"No, that's not... Dammit, she's a person, Cas! God may have created her, but He still put her here with us instead of up there with you. Allegra's not like you. She eats, sleeps, and feels just like the rest of us. Pain, joy, sadness, she feels every good and every crappy thing there is to feel. You can't expect her not to feel love, okay? You can't expect her not to fall in love. Emotions can't just be switched off. It doesn't work that way!"

Dean was about ready to kick the angel's ass for acting all innocent and ignorant. But seeing how he still needed Castiel for Sam, that might not be the best idea. He forced himself to stay calm and took a deep breath.

"Allegra once told me she would never forgive herself if I died because of her. And just now, she said she refused to lose me too. I know she pushed me away to protect me, but I still don't know from what. Why did she say those things?"

Castiel averted his gaze from Dean.

"You should ask Allegra this question," he said.

"I did, and she shuts down, so I'm asking you. And you're damn well gonna answer me."

There was an uncomfortable silence between the angel and the Hunter, but eventually, Castiel sighed and faced Dean again.

"She accidentally killed a young man when she was 18 years old. I'm not familiar with the details. All I know is he was her lover."

"How?" asked Dean. "Plague gone wrong? She lose control or something?"

"I don't know, Dean. None of us do. The Archangels are the only ones who know what truly happened that night. I only know part of the story because Gabriel told me of the incident before his death."

"If the Archangels knew, why the hell didn't they stop it from happening? Why didn't they bring the guy back?"

But Castiel merely gave a small shrug with his shoulders. Dean ran his hands through his hair, scratching his scalp (something he picked up from being around Bobby too much). It all started to make more sense now. Allegra loved someone when she was young, and then she killed him, probably with her powers. Now she'd gotten it into her head that she couldn't love anyone else, or she would end up killing her next lover too. She was depriving herself of love out of fear. 
He had to find a way to convince her that wasn't going to happen. Not with him. And besides, he died so many times already, he wasn't about to let the possibility of dying stop him. Demons and other baddies were coming after him all the time. This was just another item for the 'million ways to die'-list. Even if something did go wrong and Allegra did accidentally kill him, he would find a way to come back. With or without help.