The Long Way Home

Chapter One Hundred and Eight: Wishes

Cassandra, or rather the thing that claimed to be her was gone by the time John woke up and not for the first time in over a month he found himself relieved to find her missing from their bed. He had become convinced over the time he had spent with his wife that she was not what she seemed. His Cass was kind hearted and caring, this one was selfish and deceitful. There was purpose in every single one of her actions, he could see the calculation in her dull blue eyes as she reviewed him.

John knew he was a pawn in a much larger game. It was disconcerting to say the least. The dreams were getting worse, they were coming in waves every single night and they were so real he swore he could feel his wife's tender flesh as he caressed the apple of her cheek. He could feel her desperation getting more frenzied every time she visited. Her strength was fading, he could feel her getting weaker with each connect she made. There was something else going on inside of her, something she wasn't telling him about and it was creating a strain on their connection.

John had spoken to Elizabeth about this a week after their return from the caves where Michael had been holding Cass and Hope. He had told her that they hadn't brought back his wife, they had returned someone else in her place. It made him feel sick to think of Cass trapped back there in Michael's hands, who knew what he was doing to her.

Elizabeth thought that the problem was with him, that he had detached himself so much from the situation when it was happening that he was having problems trying to reconnect with his wife. She said it was only natural for him to feel estranged from someone he loved after they had been through something so horrendous. She had suggested a trip to go see Doctor Heighmeyer to deal with his attachment issues.

Her dismissal was infuriating. Admittedly he did have some issues but they were not clouding his judgement on this. This Cass was not his own and he God damn wanted his wife back even if he had to steal a Jumper and find her himself. He understood that Elizabeth would not let him venture out without some sort of proof. Yet he wasn't exactly sure how he was supposed to go about doing that.

At first he had suspected Elizabeth had been right, his own mind was playing tricks. Cassandra wouldn't speak to him about her experiences and that made him feel inadequate. He had asked her to go see Heightmeyer but she refused, in fact she had laughed at the possibility at discussing her private life with a stranger.

That had been one of the deciding factors for John, his Cass had spent hours chatting with Doctor Heightmeyer after she had been attacked by Sergi. It had given her nightmares and damaged her mental condition until she had gotten the help she needed. She had given Kate Heightmeyer flowers for getting her to move past the event. This Cass couldn't tell who the hell Kate Heightmeyer was.

John rolled onto his back, his arm coming to rest above his head as he stared at the ceiling wishing that things were different. He had believed that wishes never got you anywhere but his Cassandra had believed. She made wishes on shooting stars, whilst blowing out candles and when she tossed pennies into fountains. John was more of a man of action and he thought that the 'other' Cassandra was of a similar mind set. That meant that he had to step up his game if he was going to figure her out.

John pulled back the bed sheets and rose to his feet, stretching out all the muscles in his back and causing the vertebrate in his spine to pop. He ached from the tense position he had been sleeping in over the past few nights and he had taken to wearing a T-shirt and sweats to bed every night so that 'other' Cass wouldn't get any ideas the same way she had the first night.

John shuddered at the thought of her attempt to seduce him, it filled him with nausea to think of her taking off her clothes and flaunting his wife's body in such a manner. He knew what she had been trying to do since day one and he wasn't going to fall for it. Sleeping with someone built up a bridge of trust, a relationship formed between the two of you and if 'other' Cass had succeeded in making him believe that she was his wife she would have a powerful ally on her side.

Fortunately he wasn't the only one that thought something was going on with Cass. Ronon had commented on her brisk, almost irritable nature when he had asked her to give Hope a tour of the city. Carson was surprised by her sudden interest in the retro virus and the progress he had made in the past few months. Teyla had quietly taken him aside two days ago and informed him that something seemed off with his wife, she was distracted and weary.

Teyla thought that she was hiding something, that Cass was more guarded than usual due to her one word responses. McKay thought that her renewed interest in the city protocols was an affect of her abduction, the other man had pointed out to John that he would probably be equally as paranoid about security if he had been in the same situation.

Separately all of these little things could be attributed to post traumatic stress, together they showed John that there was a glaring flaw in Cassandra's psyche. The fact other people were beginning to notice made him realize there was much more to this than his own mind creating problems out of thin air.

John raked his fingers through his untidy brown hair before his gaze strayed to the silver picture frame that was resting on Cass's mahogany dressing table. It was their wedding day and Jules had insisted that the two of them partook in being photographed just like in any normal wedding. They had posed for what seemed like hours, each frame getting sillier and sillier in the tiny, green plush gardens of the chapel. That was one of his favourite images in all of the universes.

Cass looked stunning, her wedding dress clung to her modest curves, adorning her like an angel. Her straight dark hair had been wavy and free flowing. The vibrant blue lotus flower matching her stunning eyes. John, himself had never looked happier than in that moment, he had been hugging Cassandra from behind, she looked relaxed, fitting into his body like she belonged there.

I'll find you Cassandra. He promised her, before reaching for his comm and clipping it onto his ear.

John had asked Carson to run every test imaginable on the blood and DNA samples that Cass had given him when he had been checking her over after the abduction. He had relayed his theory to Beckett expecting to be scorned or ridiculed but instead he had found that the other man had been on his side.

He too had noticed Cassandra's odd behaviour over the past few days and it didn't settle right with him. He had spent a lot of time over the past few years with Cass as a colleague and a friend. John should have trusted that the other man would know that something wasn't right and sure enough Carson had already been engaging in his own second set of testing before John had made his request.

"Beckett? It's Sheppard. You go those test results back yet?" John questioned as he searched through the shared wardrobe for his grey combats.

"Colonel, I was just about to call you. There's something you need to see." Beckett informed him, his deep Scottish lilt twinged with concern.

John rubbed his hand over his unshaven features at the sound of the other man's voice. He already knew from the way that Beckett was talking that he had been right in is assumptions. John touched the comm once more as a sense of urgency filled him. They had a traitor on their turf and John Sheppard was ashamed to say that it was his own wife.