The Long Way Home

Chapter Seventy Three: Domestic

It's been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I'm back in town

Lady Gaga – You and I

John liked Jules and Michael's home, he decided. It was a fun, welcoming, friendly place and he found himself growing feeling comfortable here with every mounting second. Jules was a wonderful host, she was interesting and funny and talked animately with her hands the same way Cass did when she was excited.

Over dinner the other woman had been regaling them with stories about her and Cass's childhood paralleling them to her own children's. It was engrossing listening to stories about his wife as a young girl, Cass didn't talk very much about her childhood, the same way he didn't talk much about his. Her parents car accident had shaken her up more than she let on and he understood what it was like to have your whole world snatched out from under your feet.

John could tell Jules was glad to have Cass here to help with the children, he had to admit they were a handful. He wondered when he had become one of those people that was glad to hand them back at the end of the day. He had already decided over a year ago that kids weren't for him, his life was too dangerous and just watching Jules with them reminded him how truly vulnerable they made a person. He had only just accepted the way his marriage made him feel he didn't think he could give any more of himself away. He was a selfish man and he would readily admit that when asked, he loved his wife and he would never do anything to lose her and the possibility of having a child could just kill her from the information Carson had given them before the two of them had left. John didn't want to take the risk. He was complete when he was a round Cass, the pursuit of a child was not their cross to bear.

Yet watching Cass with her niece and nephew made him reconsider the decision he had come to over the past few weeks. John had decided that a vasectomy was their best method of contraceptive, it was a permanent solution to the problem that they faced in the long term. He found himself wanting to ask Cass if she had changed her mind on kids, she was so frighteningly natural with these two children and when he thought harder with the ones back home that she took care of.

There was a guilt residing deep within him, it was a negative inadequate emotion that made him feel unworthy of the woman he loved. It should be a decision not to have kids instead of the best possible course of action.

"You didn't have to do the dishes." Jules conceded, leaning in the doorway as she watched John drying a plate with a chequered tea cloth.

John shrugged his shoulders in response to that comment. Of course he didn't have to do it but if Jules was gracious enough to invite them to stay in her home then it was the least he could do. Besides the other woman was starting to show tell tale signs of exhaustion from the past week she had spent as a single parent. Michael, her husband was away in Florida brokering a new business deal for his firm.

"It seemed only fair considering you cooked." he told her with a hint of a smile. "Although it's a little like playing 'Where's Waldo?' trying to find where everything belongs but I think I've got it down."

"You had to open every cupboard twice I take it?" Jules teased as John lifted a small pile of plates into an over head cupboard.

"Lets put it this way, it took me a long time to find where you keep the cutlery." John mentioned casually.

Jules found herself smiling at that as John pursed his lips together, searching for the right words he had wanted to say from the beginning of this visit. The fact they were alone right now with Cass out of earshot, reading the kids a bedtime story seemed like a good time.

"I want to say thanks for making me feel so welcome." he told Jules as he folded the tea towel up between his hands. "She was worried about how you were going to take the news that the two of us had gotten hitched."

"To be honest John I was concerned about the kinda man that made my sister completely lose her head. She's not usually ruled by her heart but when she is it's usually an all in thing. She speaks so highly of you I thought you were too good to be true but now..." Jules trailed off as she studied the man in front of her with avid sapphire eyes. "I think your exactly what she needed."

"She's exactly what I needed." John confessed, leaning against the kitchen work surface and crossing his arms over his chest. "I've never been in love before I met Cassie. She has this way of making me smile even on the most terrible days."

A smile tweaked at Jules's lips as John spoke. The expression on his face was the most sincere she had ever seen and she knew her instincts had been on the money this morning when the two of them had first met. From what she had seen of John so far, he seemed ideal for her sister. He brought out a wonderful, brighter side to Cass that she had rarely seen since her ordeal in Afganstan. Cass was smiling all over again and for the first time in a long time she looked happy.

"I got the two of them off to bed. Annie was a little clingy but she settled down after a while." Cass said as she entered the room.

She was wearing her grey college sweats and a black Star Wars R2D2 T-shirt. Her dark hair was tied back in a messy bun with stray strands of hair falling around the pale features of her face. John thought she looked so cute when she dressed like this, she was a self confessed nerd at heart and they shared a love of the cult classics.

"They've missed you." Jules informed her sister simply. "And so have I."

"I know." Cass uttered, rubbing the back of her neck as she sighed.

There was remorse in her voice as she spoke before wrapping her arms around her lithe body. John knew how she felt about leaving her family behind, it was hard for her to walk away each time but she did it for her country. They were working to make the world a better place and Jules understood that, it was just hard sometimes, waving goodbye to Cass and wondering if she was ever going to come back.

After that last visit to Afghanistan it was like a ghost had been returned to back to the US. It had taken her sister along time to open up and talk about what had happened over there, after Henry had left Cass had appeared at her door with a duffel bag and red rimmed eyes and Jules had taken her in. It killed her to see her sister struggle to deal with so much trauma in such a short space of time and Jules would never forgive Henry for leaving when her sister was at her most vulnerable. Cass had managed to pick herself back up but Jules had been concerned when Cass had returned to work. Her job would never be easy but Cass seemed to find it enriching an that's what was important to Jules.

Now the other woman's eyes were flickering to her partner in crime as he stood watching the exchange uncomfortably. He hadn't had to endure this conversation since Nancy and it was strange watching it from a different point of view especially when he could see both sides of the debate yet this was not an argument. It was a fact, Jules was stating a truth and it showed John his own personal issues when he realized that Jules wasn't trying to make Cass feel bad about being away so often. This was the way a real family was supposed to be supportive, understanding and caring. Jules was so viciously proud of her sister, it was in the pictures that adorned the mantle piece and the way she talked to the other woman that made all the difference.

"You had better take care of my sister John Sheppard." Jules warned the Lieutenant Colonel as she came to stand before him, her hands upon her hips.

She looked more formidable than he could have imagined, it was like staring into the eyes of a lioness as she circled her cubs. He felt his insides quiver just a little at the potential threat. Jules meant every single word she said. John nodded his agreement before he spoke.

"I promise."