A Dance Of Blades and Hearts

shadows

I really should have known

When my brother and Tera came in and sat together quietly,

I should have noticed that they're almost never quiet.

I should have known that my outburst with tera two days ago wasn't just going to slide,

I should have known. But I didn't.

I sigh and look up from the book I'm reading, I've taking to doing that alot these days, seeing that training wasn't as intense or frequent as it used to be pre war

The tides were changing and everyone knows it

"your eyes are literally borring holes into my skin " I say looking at them, and I startle at the determined look on azumis face,

Tera is wringing her hands together and not meeting my eyes. I raise an eyebrow

"kiara-"

"azumi if you're going to ask me what's wrong again, don't, I'm fine " I say quickly but my brother doesn't budge

"really kiara? Cuz I know you still have those nightmares" his voice is tight and eyes sad, my body goes rigid

"azumi i-"

"don't, I heard you trying to stifle a sob yesterday kiara, you know you don't have to do that, you know I'm here for you " he says looking frustrated and my heart breaks alittle

"I didn't want you to worry " I say in a small voice

" how can I not kiara?my baby sister got thrown into the perian palace and I thought I'd go mad, but you made it back to me and I'm so so grateful. But you've been having nightmares, you've been emotionally distant and you won't even talk to us, you won't let us help you, you're pushing us away kiara " he says voice on edge and I'm too surprised to react

"azumi stop" I try but he isn't having any of it

"what exactly happened back in Peria?" We're your family kia you can talk to us, we'll get through it together kia let us help you" he begs, voice soft

but I'm already shaking my head, throat choking up, I can barely think about it without breaking apart, how am I supposed to talk about it??

I suddenly get up and I hear azumi sigh

"kiara-" he starts but I shrug him off and walk towards my room

"I am not having this conversation azumi " I say through the bile rising in my throat

I turn the knob on my door but it refuses to budge, it hits me and I look back at my brother in disbelief

"you locked me out of my room!?!"

He almost looks apologetic, almost.

"kiara we need to talk "

"and I said I don't want too " I grit out and it comes out as a snarl,

I move to leave the house, trying to control my heart beat in my chest,

images of brown hair and beautiful Amber eyes clouding my mind till they threaten to drown me

I turn the knob on the door to leave and it doesn't budge either,

I look back at my brother in utter disbelief

"you locked me in the house too?? Really!?! "

He looks at me from the gahma, eyes sad but it's tera that speaks

"it was my idea, I knew you'll try to avoid it again, but kiara I saw the scar on your stomach, I can't imagine what you went through to have gotten that and you've been keeping it all inside, we're doing this because we care about you "