A Dance Of Blades and Hearts

choc

My head was aching and azumis constant pacing wasn't helping matters.

"this doesn't make any sense " he said more to himself.

after returning from the masters, I had told azumi everything that happened and the mission the masters had given me, my hands were shaking but I hid them under my dress robes, I was playing it cool on the outside for the sake of my brother, but I was far from okay.

My best friend who had been hugging me since I got back noticed and hugged me tighter,  I was grateful for it, it was the only thing keeping me grounded. She had burst into tears immediately she heard and has been quietly sobbing ever since, she knew as well as both I and azumi that I couldn't go against the masters.

"I'm going over there " azumi suddenly said, eyes strained and hands in his hair. I sighed

"azumi no" I realized he was half way through the door when he didn't reply, I shot up and stopped him

"azumi you can't" I said eyes begging, his eyes reflecting the same.

"I can't let you go, no, no I won't let you go " he said and continued his pacing

" why does it have to be you, it doesn't have to be you Kia" he said frantically. I held his hand and smiled half heartedly, he frowned at me.

"I don't have an option here azumi, you know as well as I do that we can't go against the masters "

"then what do you want me to do!?! " he almost screamed

" you've never been to war kiara, you've never had to take a life, and they want to send you into the palace!! To kill the emperor?!!, I can't let you do this, I can't let you go ".

My heart hurt for my brother, he was taking this worse than I was "azumi please listen to me " I started, he breathed in harshly, then turned and left the house without a word, slamming the door after him.

Tera got up to go after him but I stopped her "it's fine Tera, he just needs to breathe " I said to her with a small smile.

Her eyes were sad as she looked at me

"I feel like I'm losing my best friend " she whispered

" you're not loosing me, I'll make it back " I replied more for myself than her, she looked like she was trying hard not to cry again, my heart broke for all of us

"it's not fair " she said quietly.

It's almost midnight when azumi comes back, I stare at him from my place on the gahma, his eyes are bloodshot and he looks so tired, my heart breaks a little more looking at him

" I went to the elders " he starts and I sigh " wanted to offer going in your place " he continued, my eyes widened.

"they wouldn't even let me in " he says with a dark chuckle before he crumples on the floor, I'm by his side in seconds. "I don't know what to do kia, how can I let you do this, how am I supposed to protect you " he says hands in his hair and voice low.

"I love you azumi, but I haven't needed protecting since I turned 12" I said to him, eyes determined " I'm just as much a warrior as Every other person in this city, I can hold my own" I said looking him in the eye.

"you're my baby sister " he whispered "I'm supposed to protect you".

Ever since we lost our parents, azumi became my mother, father and brother, he always put me first even though he was just a child himself, he was my hero, a fact I would probably never admit to him, but we weren't children anymore and I had to do this, I was scared, I was so so scared but how could I say no to the masters?  How could I say no to something that could possibly end the war, that could stop azumi from ever having to risk his life again.