Damaged Roses

F i v e

Betty P.O.V

After leaving the house Trev took me to a park and we spent the whole morning walking and chatting. After that he took me to a restaurant to eat. I felt a little bad for having vomited the food that he had paid for, but it is something that I couldn't avoid, if I don't push food out of my body I get nervous and I start to feel terrible about myself.

The rest of the afternoon we went for a walk around the city until we reached the bar where we met again yesterday. We drank a couple of beers and went back to my apartment. When we got to the portal of my building Trev asked me to be his girlfriend.

I was shocked for a moment and a smile appeared on my face and I said yes. Trev always made me feel secure about myself other than that he's the sweetest boy on earth. 

I offered to go up to my apartment and when we were in the elevator we started to kiss. I broke the kiss to open the door and when it was unlocked we reconnected in a kiss as we passed inside. Trev closed the door with his foot and suddenly a clear throat made us separate from the kiss.

It was Jughead and he was with two other guys who were quite intimidating. Trev kissed me before he left and I apologized to Jughead, I didn't know he was in home. After that, he introduced me to his friends and offered me to join them what I happily agreed to.

I changed into my gray sweatpants and my black tank top, of course leaving my bandana on my left hand. My scars was not something I was proud of or something I wanted to show people.

I went back to the living room with the boys. ''What are you doing?'' I asked sitting between Jughead and Fangs. ''Play with the xbox'' Fangs said smiling at me. He seemed harsh at first glance but from his gaze I could see that he was a loving person. 

''Do you wanna try?'' Sweet Pea asked me giving me his command and I took it. ''Thanks you'' I said with a smile, ''but I'm very bad at this, when I played with Archie I always lost!'' I said giggling. And the three looked at me confused.

''Oh, right sorry, Archie is my best friend'' I said shyly and all of them nodded understanding. ''Oh my god! I forgot call him!'' I said placing the Xbox controller roughly on Jughead's lap and getting up quickly dialing Archie's number. 

I heard Sweet Pea and Fangs laugh and Jughead telling them to shut up as I went to the kitchen. They were laughing at me? Suddenly a bad feeling of sadness and loneliness ran through my body. Sensation that disappeared as soon as I heard Archie's voice.

I told him everything I had done today and that I was dating Trev and Archie told me everything he had done. After a while talking I hung up and went back to Jughead and his friends.

''So this boy who you were with before asked you to be his girlfriend?'' Fangs asked trying to bring up a topic of conversation with me. ''Yes'' I said excited. ''I know him since we were kids''.

''and you two went up with the intention of...?'' Fangs asked with a raised eyebrow. ''Oh my god no!'' I said quickly. ''Don't tell me you're a virgin?'' Sweet Pea said looking at me. I was going to said something when Jughead told ''Sweets, you know her for 5 minutes I don't think that's an appropriate question''.

''Sorry'' Sweet Pea mumbled. ''But yeah, I've never done anything with a boy. He is my first boyfriend'' I said blushing. ''How cute'' Fangs said smiling at me. I already like this boy, he's so sweet.

''So, you're 18 and the most breathtaking girl I've ever saw and that boy is your first boyfriend?!'' Sweet said like if I was lying. ''Sweets stop flirting'' Jughead said annoyed.

''Don't worry Jug, I don't mind he ask me those things, by the way, you wanted know me better'' I said. ''Do you have any friends here?'' Fangs asked concerned. 

''No, but they're coming next week and tomorrow I'm going to meet my cousin. I didn't see her since we were 10'' I answered with a sad smile. My cousin Toni was one of those persons I would give my life.

''Now I want to be your new gay best friend'' Fangs said offering his arms to give me a hug and I accepted the hug ''I would love that, you're so sweet'' and I giggled.

''Eh! I want to be your friend too. You need someone to kick your boyfriend's ass if he do something bad to you'' Sweet Pea said smirking and I giggled.  ''That's nice, now I have 2 friends in New York. I like it'' I said smiling. I really felt nice, I never thought someone wanted to be friends with me.

''What about me?'' Jughead said raising his eyebrows. ''You are my partner of movies and series'' I said teasing him with a giggle. ''Oh, I see. You can now pack and go live with one of these two'' Jughead asnwered teasing me back and smirked. 

''And who were you going to beg then to watch ONE episode of Breaking Bad with you?'' I said mimicking him doing the gesture he made last night to ask me to watch an episode. ''I only did it because I knew you wanted to spend time with me'' he replied winking at me and sticking out his tongue.

We continue talking about our lives. I told them some of mine, not all of it obviously, and they told me some of theirs. For now I knew that they are members of a gang called South Side Serpents and that they are all from New York since birth and they are going to NYU too. They were so cool.

There was a knock on the door and Jughead got up from the couch exclaiming ''PIZZA!!''. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable, I didn't want to eat anything. Jughead laid the pizza on the kitchen island and Fangs and Sweet Pea got up and went to the kitchen.

''Aren't you coming Betty?'' Sweet Pea asked. ''Oh, no thanks I'm not hungry'' I lied, the smell of pizza was making my guts tingle. ''You miss it, but more for me'' Sweets joked. 

''Mmh, I'm pretty tired so I go to bed'' I said standing up and walking towards my room. When I was in the kitchen I hugged Sweet Pea and Fangs ''was nice to meet you guys'' and I smiled. 

''Same Betty, you're to cute'' Fangs said hugging me back. ''Tomorrow night we're going to a bar, do you want to come?'' Sweet Pea offered hugging me back too. ''Yeah, sure. Good night'' I smiled.

''Eh, eh, eh. Again, what about me?! I'm the one letting you stay here, you're rude'' Jughead said pretending to be hurt. ''You're annoying...'' I said kissing my hand and placing my hand in his cheek. ''That was better!'' Jughead replied with a smirk and I shooked my head giggling.

I went into my room and put on my pajamas. I lay down on the bed and started thinking about the fun day I had had. How I can't feel lost now that I had a boyfriend and two new friends. And of course Jughead. I like the way he joke with me, it makes me feel less lonely and sad.

I fell asleep pretty quickly but woke up at 3am very hungry so I decided to go to the kitchen to see if I could find something to eat. I found a taper with spaghetti so I heated it in the microwave and ate it.

After the spaghetti I was still hungry so I decided to eat a chocolate bar. The desire to continue eating invaded me and when I wanted to realize I had eaten a bag of Cheetos and a tub of ice cream. 

I was suddenly filled with guilt and regret at seeing everything I had just eaten. I ran to the bathroom and started vomiting until I had nothing left. Tears fell down my cheek while the feeling of guilt did not leave my body. So I forced myself to vomit more until almost no bile came out. 

I rinsed my mouth and brushed my teeth still crying for what I just did. I went back to the kitchen and cleaned up the mess I'd left. Once clean I went back to my room feeling like shit.

I picked up my blade, removed the bandana, and added new cuts to my wrist causing psychological pain to become physical pain and relieving myself. But this time a few cuts were not enough, I needed more.

I wiped the blood off my left wrist and decided to apply cuts to my right wrist, which had none. Just old scars that couldn't be seen unless you looked closely. The bad thoughts were disappearing as I applied more and more cuts to my wrist with anger.

When I finally felt relieved enough, I cleaned my wrist and blade, put it away, and lay down on the bed again almost instantly falling asleep.