Lover Boy

chapter seven

continued

I got a better look at his face when we sat at a cafeteria table together, dark crescent moons underneath his eyes that weren't glittering like they usually do. His skin was paler, not the normal, healthy tan that made him glow everyday. He could tell I was staring, so he looked away.

"Richie?" He muttered as he kept his eyes at the table.

"Mhm?" I mumbled, my arms crossed over one another as I watched him.

"You don't have to be around me if you don't want to be.."

Hearing Alexander say that to me made me realize the way I was presenting my emotions. I furrowed my dark brown eyebrows. "Don't worry." I answered.

He nodded his head and a blonde curl fell in between his eyes. His petit hand lightly pushed the strand away. "I don't want to go home.." Alexander added, his lips turned downwards.

"Why not?" I wonder and cross my arms over the table, my back hunched over a bit.

"No one will be home.. and it's scary when I have to be at home all by myself.." A look of desolation over his features.

"Can't you go to a friends house?"

"I.. don't have any.."

"Would you be comfortable coming to mine?" I asked him without putting any thought into my question.

Alex nodded, looking up at my face  "I think so.. I'll think about it."

The bell rang, meaning it was the end of lunch. We both stood up from the table in the cafeteria and made our way down the hallway. I noticed Alex's skinny, short legs scuttle to keep up with me. In every one step I took, he took three. I slowed my pace so it was easier for him to stay by my side. My head lowered as I stared. Not just his height, but his body structure was small, too.

He walked inside his music class and I watched him take a seat down in his chair.

Once I got to my own class, I sat beside Abby and she glanced over at me. "Who were you sitting with at the end of lunch?"

I rested my elbow on the desk, cupping my cheek with my hand. I turned my face to her direction. "No one." I kept my voice down so other students don't hear us.

"We've seen you walk around with him a few times too." She whispered, intrigued by the topic.

"He follows me everywhere for some reason."

"Oh. I'd like to be his friend too if you're friends with him."

"We're not friends." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"So then are you more than friends?" She teased.

In a slight defensive manner, I glared at her. "No. We're no-"

"Oh shut up, lover boy. Look who's finally soft for someone." Abby cut me off with a remark.

"I'm not gay." I said, keeping my voice down.

"Okay okay, I was only joking." Abby chuckled.

•••

Alex and I met up at his locker at the end of the school day and we began to walk.

Since my current state was stress and guilt, I took out pre-rolled joint of marijuana and a lighter that was stored in the bottom of the front pocket of my jeans. I flickered on the lighter and cupped my hand around the flame, bringing it up to my mouth. I started smoking.

When I glanced down at him, he was making a face. A disgusted face.

"That smells weird.." He said, trying to turn his face away from the smell.

"You've never smelt it before?" I said holding the joint between my index and middle finger.

"Maybe once." The chilled wind in the cool air blew Alex's curls around, revealing the faded bruise on his temple.

"How's your bruise feeling?" I asked as I puffed on the pre-roll of marijuana.

"Which one?" He slightly panicked, bringing his dainty hand up to his face very so frantically. "Oh.. that one."

I squinted my eyes and tilted my head a bit. "Does it hurt?"

He shook his head.

I dropped the joint onto the ground, squishing it into the concrete with my foot. "Good."

"My Mom and my little sister are home, just so you know."

"That's okay."

Before we walked into my house, I shrugged my backpack off my shoulders and unzipped the main pouch. I took out the cologne I use every morning and sprayed myself, that way my Mom wouldn't notice the smell of weed. The fragile boy stood beside me patiently, his hands intertwined in front of himself as he slightly rocked back and forth on his heels.

I pressed the buttons for the password on the code lock at the front door and opened it, letting Alex walk in before me to be polite. We took off our shoes, both of us neatly lining them up on the shoe mat. Footsteps catch both our ears and we look up to see my Mom, greeting us with a smile on her face that stretched from ear to ear.

"Hello! Who's this?" She said, tucking her unnatural blonde hair behind her ears.

Alex's face got a little rosy, I was about to introduce him to my mom so he didn't have to, but he did it on his own before I got the chance to. "I'm Alex, it's nice to meet you, Ms D'Alessandro."

"Call me Anya, sweetie." She beamed. "It's nice to meet you too."

Katherine skipped to the front door out of curiosity. She waved to Alex and hugged me. Alex waved back at her and put a gentle smile onto his face. His body was stiff as he stood there.

"Wanna go upstairs?" I asked to get Alex away from feeling awkward.

"I-.. sure, we can. " He stammered.

"Are you sure? We can stay down here if you'd like to." I offered.

"Yes.. I am." He pulled his face into a soft smirk.

We headed over to the stairs. His tiny hand glided up the polished railing as he climbed the stairs, one step after another. I walked up behind him.

"...Pretty hou-house." He complimented with a stutter of shyness.

"Thanks."

He stood by the entrance of my door, not budging to enter my bedroom. I was sitting on my bed.

"You can come in." I encouraged.

He shook his head right after I spoke.

"I won't hurt you." I told him as I held out my pinky. He walked over to me, slower than a normal pace. We locked pinkies. He sat down beside me, glancing around my room.

He swallowed, and closed his eyes for a moment as he sat there, softly kicking his legs. The poor small boy needed a good cry.

I gently hug him, giving him a feeling of safety that would surround him. He cried, that made me hug him a bit closer. I felt him tense up, his arms glued to his sides, locked still.

Alex buried his head in my black sweater, the fabric dampening with his tears. When I was with Alex, I felt like I was in an enclosed safe space where nothing bad could get in. I thought of my Father, my abuser and my fear of possibly liking a boy, but no sense of dread or guilt came to me. Both of us weren't completely comfortable around each other yet, but we clicked. Being around him more often has made it even harder to keep him away, especially from my thoughts.

Alex pulled away from our hug and sat with his knees up to his chest. He looked up at me, his eyes wet and glossy.

"What's wrong?" My voice softened.

I saw terror in his eyes. "I really would like to tell you, it's just that it's too hard to say.. I'm sorry."

I nodded, understanding that he wasn't ready to speak about it. I didn't know what it was. I looked around my room, not knowing what to say or do. As my head turned away, I felt Alex come back to my arms. My face relaxed from being worried. This was a big surprise, but I hugged him again in attempt to wash away his sadness. He listened to my soothing heartbeat.