Lover Boy

chapter four

thirty four days later

~October 12th, 2015~

Things started to go downhill ever since the day Connor and I got in a fight. I have completely stayed away from Alexander, not even any sort of eye contact in the halls. Emma has been very off and on with me, her attitude has become worse, our relationship basically consists of sex, which isn't what I want, nor do I enjoy it. My history mark went down even more after I got a low mark on a presentation I had to put together. The acting classes I attend haven't been fun to go to since Iv'e felt so sick with all the hangovers Iv'e had in the last couple of weeks. I'm so drained. 

•••

After the bell rang at the end of school, I walked to Emma's locker because I wanted to speak with her. But she wasn't there. I got out my phone and called her, but the call was declined right away. I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the annoyance that soared through my body. 

I took myself to Emma's place for something that took me a while to decide on. I stepped up to the porch and knocked on the black wooden door. Her mother, Nancy answered. She wasn't too fond of me after hearing how often Emma gets upset with me.

The woman's eyes bored into me. "Oh.. hello." Nancy's voice lowered in disappointment. 

I walked past her and went straight upstairs to Emma's bedroom.

"Where do you think you're going?" She raised her voice. I ignored her and opened the door to Emma's bedroom. She was lounging on her bed watching a movie. She glanced up at me and looked back at her tv, rolling her emerald green eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

I sat down on her bed beside her and asked her if she could pause the movie. She did it, thinking I was here for sex and looked at me leaning in for a kiss. I stopped her by backing my head away.

"I want to talk." 

Emma laughed sarcastically. "You? Talk?"

"Please just listen to me."

She looked annoyed, because she didn't care what I had to say. "Fine. Say it." Emma sassed.

I sighed and furrowed my eyebrows looking at her, noticing her unimpressed facial expression. "I can't do this anymore. Our relationship isn't what I want at all. And look, I'm sorry, but all you really care about is sex and it's just hard for me to treat you well when Iv'e never gotten it in return." 

Being with her wasn't fun. She never gave me my personal space, she was always all over me and needed to know where I was and what I was doing all the time. It was like she made everything about herself. If I made the simplest mistake, or say the wrong thing, she would get mad or upset, and every single time that happens, she purposely made me feel bad. I've been able to see that, which is why I haven't been able to treat her the best either. 

"I'm breaking up with you." I stood up and walked to her bedroom door to leave. 

She looked down at the floor underneath her feet. "No, Richie, please don't do this... Can you give me one more chance? I'll prove to you I can be what you need."

I felt like I gave her one too many chances already. I shook my head. "no". Emma was devastated and told me not to go; but I did. I left her bedroom and she instantly followed me out.

"You'll be back for me! I know you will! You always come back, Richie!"

I let her comment go through one ear and out the other, and walked straight out the front door. I headed home and went up to my room without greeting my family. I wasn't exactly upset, I was more relived. It was the right decision and I didn't think I'd regret leaving her.

I take myself to my bedroom mirror and look at myself. I begin to notice my flaws as I stare longer. The dark circles under my eyes stood out to me, the scabbed scratch on the side of my face from being shoved into the pavement ground at school. Yep, another fight. Being in pain gave me a feeling of relief, like I was able to feel something. My eyes trail away from the mirror and I take a deep breath. 

My eyes welled up with tears as I rubbed my face. There was a bottle of water sitting on the nightstand next to my bed, left over from the night before. I drank some of it, along with a Tylenol to help with my pounding headache that throbbed non stop. What is wrong with me?

•••

"Richie! Dinner!" My Mom called out.

Katherine was excited to see me. She always is. I pecked my lips to the top her head and put food on her plate, as well as my own. I didn't have any appetite to eat after what happened. I felt like I was going to gag on my food when I put it into my mouth.

"Are you okay?" My mom looked at my eyes that were still a bit red from crying. 

I nodded my head continuing to eat. She was still worried, I could tell. Except she didn't say anything about it. Most likely because Katherine was sitting next to me.

After we ate dinner, I helped my Mom wash the dishes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked me again.

"I broke up with Emma.. that's all. It had to be done." I said as I rinsed a dish.

"I'm so sorry, hun." She spoke.

I used that as my excuse. My Mom knew I wasn't happy in my relationship with Emma, so she didn't have many questions about it.