Dark Thoughts

83

So I have noticed with social media that I have increased my FOMO and decreased my self esteem.

I don't know if it is worth it.

FOMO- Fear Of Missing Out.

I see pictures of what everyone else is doing.

And I compare it to my own.

And I know I shouldn't but I do.

Pictures of holidays, parties and other good times I missed out on or weren't invited too.

And they shouldn't get to me like they do.

But they do.

Just that little bit anyway.

Because the people that you think your are friends with aren't actually your friends at all.

And all of the people that have taken up time, effort and a little space in your heart aren't actually there for you.

So it fûcking hurts.

And I want to delete my social media sometimes.

Even though I just got it.

I want to delete it to escape this self-absorbed world to try and focus on my own.

To leave behind all of the people that are poison to me.

To stop seeing and speaking to those toxic fellow 'friends'.

To be free of second guessing and low self esteem.

Free of the pictures of girls in not much getting A LOT of likes.

Free of the popularity of others getting a stupid amount of comments and likes on something that doesn't matter.

Free of feeling like I am missing out on something important.

Maybe I should?

But what is giving up without trying?

(A one year trial?)