Dark Thoughts

32

MY LEOPARD

She was/is a bítch.

She was/is a bully.

She made my primary schooling hell.

And yet I was always the one to help her.

To assist her. Comfort her with her bloody homesickness. Went in a group with her when no one else wanted to. Ruined school camps. Called me names. Made fun of my friendships with some people. When I wrote about her in my diary she didn't even get a name.

And what hurt even more is that she still expected me to be her friend and help her.

So all these years I have kept my mouth shut and I haven't said anything. Because if I say something- all hell will break loose. So I sit there. With my mouth closed. And just nod my head and hope that all will be okay.

***

I hated her.

Yes- the past tense is correct.

Because even though she still angers me today,

Even when she still expects me to stand by her when her life turns to shít,

Even when she does what she did in primary school today, to others

And even though I still hold a grudge against her.

I forgive her.

I will never forget.

But I can forgive.

***

Dear Leopard,

Next year, once we have finished school and you freak out because you are getting a B+ or the boy that up you think you love doesn't look twice at you- I don't think I will be able to help you.

I will have moved on to bigger and better things.

The past is the past and that will never change.

But I can't wait to leave and explore the world.

A world bigger than you and me.

Maybe even a world without you.

And that is fine by me!

From,

Your-former-zebra-and-now-lion-cub