Dear Cupid; 🏹
Jeon Jungkook
@crumby.gguk
I watch him walk down the crowded halls.
Closer and closer to where I stand.
Closer......
And he walks right past me.
Unfazed, I continue to watch him until he's rounded the corner and I can no longer see his masculine figure.
For a moment I contemplate following him.
It'd make no difference if I did though.
To him... I'm just another girl in the crowd.
Another obsessed fan girl of his, struck by cupid's arrow.
My heart aches, wanting to reach out to him in class. Should I do it? Tap his shoulder and ask a question? Any question... Just to have him notice me for a moment. To steal his attention for a mere second. Maybe it's crazy to others, but they don't understand the way my heart screams for him. They don't understand how good he makes me feel without even looking at me. I'm not like the others.... the ones who want him because he's rich, handsome, and popular.
I want him because I love him. And I love him because I need him. I need him because I feel like the oxygen is low when he's not around. I feel like the last piece to the puzzle is him, and he's not here.
I love it when he smiles, not because he looks good. But because I can feel the happiness radiating off of him and for the first time ever I can feel pure joy.
I love his voice, not because he's a talented singer, but because I like to imagine him using his voice to sing to me.
I love his body, not because I want him for sex, but because I want him for love. I want him to hold me and play with my hair as he tells me he loves me.
I love his face, not because he's handsome, but because everyone else thinks he's handsome.... yet he still stays humble, and treats everyone with kindness.
I see him at the library on Thursdays. We both volunteer there. He reads to children and I shelve books. We can be in the same room, and I feel so close to him... but he doesn't even notice me.
He's beautiful. In the best and worst ways.
I've seen him with his past girlfriends, he carried their bags, bought them lunch, did their homework.
They used him for their own benefit.
But, baby.... if you were my boy I'd never use you. I'd use every ounce of my strength for you, just to make sure you weren't tired. I'd spend my last penny on you, so I'd know that you were fed well. I'd do every homework and class assignment you laid eyes on.... just so you wouldn't stress.
So why do you always go for those girls? The ones who pretend to be sweet and innocent for a few days, only to catch you in their claws and use your kindness. Why can't you see yourself the way I do? Why can't you realize your worth?
I see you hug them, tell them they're beautiful, tell them you love them! Only for them to wave you off or nod.
If you were my boy I'd hug you every time I saw you, just to make sure you're warm. I'd tell you how handsome you are, just to see you smile. And I'd tell you I love you, so for once.... you'd know how it felt to be with some one who truly cared about you.
I sound like a crazy person, but it's okay. I don't care how others see me, as long as you see me the way I see you.
I watch you walk down the hall...
Closer and closer to where I stand....
Closer.....
And then you walk right past me....
And so I stand there, watching you until you've rounded the corner.
And I write my ode to Cupid....
And it goes like this,
Dear Cupid,
Next time,
Hit us both.
