Polaroid (A Phan AU)

Chapter Fourty-Five

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.

~Oscar Wilde

The community room of our local hospital was packed out with people when our abnormally large group arrived with presents in tow.

I had woken up early with that same bubble of excitement in my stomach that can only really be experienced once a year, rushing to get showered and dressed even though I had plenty of time.

All ten of us squeezed into Kenji's pick up truck. There was so little space that Mrs Howell, Sadie and Maddie ended up having to take the bus and meet us at the hospital.

We met them, along with Mum, who had already retrieved Cassie from her stuffy hospital room, and squeezed our way through the endless crowds to obtain a blank space in the room.

I hadn't spoken to Dan at all today, yet: just felt the persistent little wings beating away in my stomach every time I looked at him in his navy Christmas jumper and his skinny jeans and his perfect damn hair...

Christmas songs were blasting loudly from the speakers and the large room was filled with chatter and laughter.

I swivelled my eyes around our corner of the room, in search of the mop of silky brown hair that belonged to Dan. While I searched, I felt a pair of skinny arms slip around my waist and a soft pair of lips press into my neck.

A wide smile broke out across my face and my heart leapt as I spun around and tackled Dan in a bear hug.

"Merry Christmas!" Dan murmured, clinging to me.

"Merry Christmas! Do you want your present?"

"Chill," Dan laughed, stepping back and adjusting his fringe, "Lets open family ones first."

I reluctantly agreed and led him over to the present bag, waving at Cassie and Kenji as I went.

Mum had cleverly arranged the presents into piles on the floor, and mine and Dan's were conveniently right next to each other.

I rushed through my presents, appreciating the new phone, lion hoodie, several lion plushies, new paints, and cute drawings. A pile of torn wrapping paper steadily grew beside me, until there were just two presents remaining, both from Dan. When I glanced over at him, I noticed that he too, only had mine to open.

We met each other's gaze and grinned.

"You go first."

"No, you."

"Fine."

Dan picked up the smaller parcel and cradled it gently before peeling away the paper. His eyes widened when they saw the small black box, and then lit up when they registered the small promise ring inside.

He began to giggle, the dimples jumping in his cheeks.

"What?" I said, panic rising as he kept laughing. Was it stupid?

"Open your small one."

Unknowingly, we'd bought each other promise rings from the same shop. They were slightly different, but it still seemed amazingly meant to be.

When we'd recovered from the awe of the coincidence, I begged Dan to open his other present. I was eager to see his response.

His reaction to the antique typewriter was picture worthy, tears springing to his eyes as he whispered his thanks with an unbreakable grin on his face.

The wrapping paper was smooth under my touch as I tore it away from the rectangular gift and held it in my hands at last.

"I found your old one. It was broken, on my floor. I think it fell out of your bag."

Words were stuck in my throat as I stared at the brand new Polaroid camera quivering in my trembling hands.

"Thank you," I whispered hoarsely, setting it aside and turning to wrap my arms around Dan.

It was bizarre to remember that Phil. The confused, scared little boy that wanted to capture everything in fear of losing it all. The one that knew not of love, or trust, outside of his home. The one that let people judge him and criticize him, that was ashamed of who he was. The ignorant child.

In the space of just a few months, that Phil had become this Phil. The one that could think and fend for himself. The one that knew to cherish and love people, because if you forget then they could think you don't care. The one that had been cursed and blessed with the most cliche love you can get. The one that now knew to capture memories with your mind, rather than a mere photo. Because they would be so much more vivid.

The thought of taking a photo hadn't even crossed my mind, yet it used be all I thought about. The things that were worth remembering would stay with me forever, camera or no camera. And now I had this to fall back on, thanks to Dan. He'd given me both the lifeline of love and the secondary lifeline of memories. I wasn't particularly excited about the gift, just overwhelmingly touched. I realised, I was no longer terrified of losing memories. I wasn't scared anymore. Thanks to Dan.

"Guys! It's snowing again, come outside!"

We broke away, still grinning madly. I put all my gifts into my bag and stood waiting for Dan to finish doing likewise, and then we battled our way, hand in hand, to the door.

We ran to catch up with our family and friends who stood in a loose crowd, chatting in twos in the pale, fading sunlight.

We must have stood in each other's company for hours as the daylight blended slowly into starlight, the snowflakes drifting around us freezing our skin but melting at our warm insides.

Suddenly tired of socialising, Dan and I broke away from the group and went to sit on the ground a little further around the building.

We sat opposite each other, picking idly at the ground and basking in each other's company.

The year was almost through; and what a year it had been. I still had so much to aim for, such a broad stretch of my future that I couldn't begin to fathom. Yet I couldn't bring myself to fear this future when I was surrounded by these people; good, kind, wholesome people that cared whether I lived or died.

"Hey, love things!" an accented voice, that I assumed to be Kenji, called suddenly, "look up!"

Dan and I glanced up simultaneously at the plant hanging from the branch we had settled under.

"Mistletoe, huh." Dan muttered, looking back at me. I just rolled my eyes and then shut them, leaning forward expectantly.

Our lips pressed together in a slow, tender kiss and a chorus of 'awh's sounded behind us.

"Happy Christmas, Polaroid boy."

A/N

Happy Christmas! (or whatever holiday you celebrate)
Did you get good presents? Are you having a nice day?
I can't believe it... That's it! Wow I feel weird
I'll write a proper a/n as a separate chapter I think but wow holy shit

~Georgina

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