the girl with scars & the bad boy

Chapter 4

"Amy, there's nothing going on with me and Adrian and there won't be any Averian juniors! Now, can we just drop this topic?" I replied while writing down some notes.

"Alright, but I still want to know why you guys are friends."

"I'll tell you when we go to your house alright?" She agrees and we kept quiet for the rest of the lesson.

My mind was too occupied to understand a single thing Ms. Julia was saying. I didn't understand, why does Adrian care? Why did he ask me to stop hurting myself? Why does he treat me differently from the others or was this one of his ways to get into my pants? Why?

The bell rings and interrupts my thoughts. Everyone scurried out of class because Ms. Julia always picks the last few students to help her clean the classroom. Since I had free period next and Amy had English, I walked Amy to her class. When Amy was in her class already, I made my way to the carpark to take my baby for a drive.

"Hey loser." Stacy's voice stopped me when I was mere inches away from the door.

"What the fuck do you want Stacy?" I said not bothering to look at her.

"Stay away from Adrian. He is my boyfriend. He doesn't want a freak like you so stay away if you know what's good for you." She spat.

"Didn't know you'd actually have a boyfriend considering you probably already fucked all the boys in this grade and the grade above." I smirked "And what makes you think I actually want Adrian?" I asked and turned around to face her.

I fell to the ground when her hand made contact with my face. Tear pricked at the corner of my eyes as I looked up to stare at Stacy. I was beyond angry now. Do I really have to be hit everywhere I go? I stood up and pushed Stacy out of my way. "What the fuck? Do you actually think that I want him? If anything your boyfriend wanted to mark me and you're saying that I want him?" I scoffed and without waiting for her response, I ran up to the rooftop to calm down. I didn't want to let anyone see me cry. It hurts knowing that people think they can step all over me, like everyone else is better than me. By the time I reached the rooftop, tears were already staining my cheeks. I drop to the floor, trying to numb my pain.

Why me? What did I ever do wrong? I get abused at home. I get bullied in school. Everyone despises me. They look at me like I'm some sort of disease. What did I ever do? Why can't I have a normal life? Why?

I fell to my knees and I took out my blade. I began hurting myself again. Blood dripping down my arm and tears flowing down my cheeks. I sat there feeling defeated. I can't wait to leave this world. To leave this miserable life behind. I cry, hoping that all this will stop. The bells rings and I sat there lifelessly. Time passes and I'm still just sitting there. I felt so defeated. I felt so weak.

The door to the rooftop opened and I didn't bother turning because I knew it was Amy. She knew that I came here because I missed all my other lessons.

"Avey? What happened?" Amy asked cautiously like I was a ticking time bomb.

I just shook my head and she looked at my newly stained arm. She kneeled down beside me and hugged me. I felt my exposed neck getting wet and heard sobbing. "Amy? Stop. Please don't cry." I pleaded. I didn't want her to waste her tears for me, I even tried to make her swear to not cry on the day I die. "Hey, c'mon let's go. I don't want to stay here anymore." I said as I stood up. I looked down at Amy and she was picking my blade up. "Amy, please don't do it." I pleaded as she threw it into the drain. I fell on my knees. It felt like she threw a part of my life. I know I shouldn't feel like this, it's pathetic but it felt like my only escape from this reality.

"I'm sorry, Avey. It kills me. I don't want you to do it anymore."

I laughed a humorless laugh, "This" I point to my cuts, "Kills you? Try having your father constantly remind you that nothing but a fucking mistake and abuses you. Try having a mother that takes drugs so that she won't feel anything. Try having everyone look at you like some disease. Try having all this thoughts about killing yourself, voices in your head reminding you that you're never good enough and that you deserve nothing but pain. After going through all that, then you tell me if this," I point to my arm again "Kills you." I snapped at her.

"I'm sorry, Avey. I'm sorry I didn't go through all that. I'm sorry I don't know how to help you. I'm sorry that all I can do is constantly remind you that I'm here for you." Tears were dropping out of her eyes.

I hugged her the same way she hugged me just now. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you. Don't be sorry. I love you no matter what alright. Come on, please, let's just go." She reached up and wiped my tears and I hissed when she touched the spot where Stacy slapped me. She looked at me with confused eyes and figured that the concealer most probably isn't there anymore so she would've seen the bruise my father left me. I told her that they were from my father and Stacy.

We went to the toilet to clean up. I looked horrible. Mascara running down my cheeks and red, puffy eyes. Bags under my eyes. I had a purple-ish bruise by my cheek and a red handprint on my cheek. The hallway was empty because dismissal was half an hour ago. We walked out to my baby and saw 3 people leaning on her. I looked to Amy to see if she saw them, but she was already looking at me, confusion written all over her face. When we got closer, oh god no.

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