Cruel Summer

6. Angels Roll Their Eyes

[*Smut warning*]

Later that afternoon, I lay on my bed smiling like a fool about the kiss we shared earlier in the pool. I've kissed him a hundred times before, but somehow this one felt different. We were interrupted by Zayn, so we didn't talked about it yet, but I don't think we need to for me to understand what it meant. The only other time I remember him looking at me in a similar way was when we had sex for the first time. He was so gentle and caring, which I didn't expect at all.

[Flashback]

 I'm trying to sleep when I get a message from Shawn, asking me to sneak into his room. We've been doing this now for weeks, but I don't think anyone has noticed anything. I look at my phone smiling and then get up taking from my chair his black hoodie I stole last week. I take off my tank top and shorts, leaving me just in my panties, and put on his hoodie that reaches my knees. I walk out to his room in my tip toes so no one will hear me and when I'm at his door I open it, is unlocked just like he said it would be. As I get in I see him laying down on his bed only in sweatpants, looking at me with a smirk on his face. I walk to his bed after locking the door and get on top of him, straddling him and sitting on his stomach.

 " So there's where my hoodie went." He says playing with the material close to my thighs.

 " It looks better on me." I say leaning down to kiss him.

 " I can't argue with that." He says as I pull away, and then puts a lock of my hair behind my ear.

 He kisses me again, but this time as his life depends on it. I run my hands through his hair, as his own go inside the hoodie I'm wearing. Not long after I start grinding on him, which I can tell takes him by surprise. He's usually the one doing stuff like that, I'm the reserved one. We've only made out during this time, except for that night under my window, even though I can tell he wants more. I keep moving against the bulge on his pants as he holds my hips and moan on my lips. I start to kiss and lick his neck until he holds my hips stopping my movements and making me look up at him.

 " Maybe we should take a break already." He says in a low tone. " You're killing me right here."

 " I don't want to stop." I say looking straight into his eyes so he knows exactly what I mean. He looks surprised at first but I know he won't say no to that.

 " Are you sure?" He asks with hesitation.

 I nod my head and take his hoodie off of my body, leaving me just in my panties. He looks even more astonished by the fact that I don't have a bra on. This is the most naked I've ever been in front of him, actually in front of anyone. I thought I would be insecure about it, but the way he's looking at me makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world.

I kiss him passionately and feel his hand massaging my breast as grind on him again, earning low moans from both of us. He flips us over so my back is on the bed and he's on top of me between my legs. He leaves kisses all over my body making his way down the only piece of clothes left on me as my hands grip on his hair. His lips move to my thighs, trailing his way up until he finally kisses the soft material of my panties where a wet spot can be seen, making me gasp and grab his hair harder. His fingers hook around the hem of my underwear pulling them down, he slips them through my legs and throws it in the ground, leaving me completely naked. I try to close my legs as an instinct but he holds them apart, looking at me almost in awe of what he sees. He slips his finger through me and then licks it, making me pull him up to kiss me.

I put my hands on the hem of his sweatpants to indicate I want it off and he does exactly that. He gets up from the bed to take both his pants and boxers off and I see him looking for something in his drawer. I see him opening a condom and putting it on, making me think how the hell is he supposed to fit inside me. I get a little scared over that thought but I quickly forget my worries when he comes back to the bed and start to lick my sensitive area, making me buck my hips up.

 " Shawnn…" I moan in a low voice as I hold his head with my hands.

 He stops it and places himself over me as I pull him down for a kiss. He looks at me asking if I still want this, to which I nod my head, so he places himself and slips just his tip inside me and then looks at me before moving until he's halfway. I dug my nails in his arm and close my eyes trying to ignore the pain. Taking a few deep breaths I open my eyes letting him know he can keep going. He moves until I'm completely full as I feel a tear roll down my eyes, then I feel his finger swipe it away of my face. I can tell he's struggling to be still but he doesn't move until I say so.

When I finally not my had he starts with slow movements, but it still hurts a bit. After awhile the pain starts to fade and some involuntary moans leave my mouth as he kisses my neck. He moves his lips over mine so our moans are muffled at the same time that I scratch his back. When he sees I'm enjoying myself he starts to go faster, and at some point I feel my legs starting to shake as my moans become louder. He moves his hand over my mouth knowing what it's about to come, since in no time I feel myself clenching around him. Thank god his hand is over my lips because even like that my screams are a little too loud. He's more effective than me on keeping quiet because he releases into the condom almost at the same time but his moans are so low that I can barely hear it.

He removes his hand from my mouth and kisses me as we both breathe heavily, then pulls out and get up going to his bathroom. Coming back later with a few wet paper towels, he sits in the edge of the bed and start to clean me up. He sees my eyes traveling to the blood spot on his sheets and say something before I start to overthink.

 " I'll wake up earlier tomorrow morning to wash these. Don't worry, they won't see it." He says getting up again to throw the paper towels in the trash.

 He lays on the other side of the bed and pulls by the waist, making me rest my head on his chest as he pulls a blanket over us.

 " How are you feeling?" He asks playing with my hair.

 " Really good." I say quietly, which makes him laugh a little. " I mean, it hurt but it also felt amazing." 

 " I could tell by how loud you were." He says teasing me.

 " Shut up!" I say slapping his chest softly.

 I end up sleeping in his room cuddled up against his body and the next morning we wake up early and wash his sheets just in time before our moms get up too.

[End of the flashback]

 A knock on the door pulls me back to the present moment. I hear the door being opened and my mom appears in the frame.

 " Get dressed, we're going out for dinner." She says smiling at me.

 I nod my head and get up from the bed as she leaves, still with memories of our first time in my head as I feel a smile form on my lips.