Finding Amerie

15- I'm Sorry

"So, do you think that it is ready?" Remington asked writing the last sentence of our short story that was due on Friday. It was Tuesday. 

"We just have to read it over. But I think it is pretty much the best we could get it." I said, reading the sentence as I stood behind him. We were once again at my house, finishing up the short story for English. 

"I can't stare at this anymore." Remington said, rubbing his eyes. "I need fresh air." We have been working to polish the story for about three hours now. It was already written but we wanted to perfect it so, here we were. 

"Yeah, I agree." I stretched my arms behind me until both my shoulders popped. "I say we go to the park and get some tacos from the truck there because I'm starving and don't want to cook." I said, grabbing my wallet and phone.

"I like the way you think." Remington said, following me out of my room. We've been spending much more time together and it was getting extremely difficult to hide my feeling for him from myself. I couldn't even think of him without my heart speeding up. 

We walked out of my apartment and then leisurely walked to the park that was just a few blocks away from my house. Thankfully the taco truck was there. Perfect. We each got three tacos and a soda, thanking the man at the truck who's name was Anthony and then making our way over to a nearby bench that was lit up by the sun. 

"Ahh, this feels so good." Remington said, sliding down the bench a little, stretching out his legs and looking up with his eyes closed, taking in the sun. I looked at him in awe. The sun made his hair shine and his face glowed in the light. 

"Yeah." I said, throwing out the paper plate from my tacos. 

We sat like that, basking in the sun for a while before we decided that we wanted to walk around. We wandered around the park, observed the ducks and named some of them. Then we saw a playground. Remington insisted on swinging me and then I insisted on swinging him, which made him stop begging to swing me.  

We were making our way thorough the park back to my apartment. The sun was setting, creating a beautiful glow around the entire park. 

"Hey look, Simone is back." I said pointing to the pond where a duck  was floating in the water. I leaned against the railing, observing its movement.

"And how do you know its Simone and not Otis?" Remington asked, leaning beside me. 

"Because Otis had a brown spot further down his back and Simone has one that is shaped like a heart." I pointed to a spot on its wing that looked like a big heart. 

"Observant." Remington said, looking down. 

"You know, as observant as I am, I am still clueless about the bet the Kade lost to Link. They said I'll find out soon, and you knew about it." I said. "I've been wondering ever since Halloween." I said, chuckling.

"It was a dumb bet. I didn't even know until that day that they bet on it." Remington said, shaking his head. He looked over at me, and I looked back at him. The light his his face perfectly, he looked almost angelic. 

We looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity, his eyes like a storm held an emotion I couldn't read. An emotion I've never seen. Soon, we we're leaning towards each other again. 
Remington put a hand on my cheek, stroking his thumb over my cheekbone. 

"The bet was whether or not I would fall for you." He said quietly, almost in a whisper and then pressed his lips to mine. 

The feeling was exactly how I imagined it  and better. His lips so soft, and his smell engulfed me. He put a hand around my waist and pulled me in closer, deepening the kiss slightly. My hands reached up on their own and wrapped around his neck. I didn't want the kiss to end. He slowly pulled away, keeping a small distance between our lips, our foreheads touching. His hand never left my cheek or my waist, sending tingles where they were touching me. 

Reality hit me like an eighteen wheeler. No, this couldn't be happening. It shouldn't be happening. I don't want to lost the one person I feel a connection with, to my families stupid misfortune. 

"I-" I said, my voice cutting off, cracking. "I'm sorry. I can't." I said. The look on Remington's face completely shattered my heart, into beyond repair. The previous look in his eyes replaced with the deepest sadness, his lips in a frown, something I haven't seen yet. Tears welled up in my own eyes. Goddamit, why does it have to  be so hard. "I'm sorry." I pulled away from Remington, turned around and nearly ran away. 

I kept myself together my entire way home but the second my door closed behind me. The dam broke and I cried like I haven't cried before. I felt horrible for what I did but I couldn't let him fall victim to my families romantic misfortune. He deserved someone who will be there for him forever, and I wasn't going to be that person. The look on his face wouldn't leave my mind, making me cry harder. In my attempts to to preserve the one relationship I kept dear, I probably ruined it forever, lost the one person I trusted. I guess I've already fallen into my family trap. 

I pried myself off the floor and went into the shower, trying to wash some of the guilt off of me. Plus, you can cry louder in the shower. I went to bed and cried myself to sleep, my heart aching for a person that was hurting as well because of me.