La vie en rose [Tom Holland]

12. Trash

[Florence]

"No?", I shook my head at his outburst.

"Barker as in bark, like a dog?", he chuckled, he tried to hide his confusion I could see it in his eyes.
Okay but why in the flying fuck was he confused? Was he expecting me to say a different last name? Did I remind him of someone or what the fuck was actually going on?

So many questions and none of them answered...or would be anytime soon.

Just another pile added to my tower of questions, great.

"Yeah it was my dads last name can't change it now can I? Well unless I marry...", I shrugged, the waiter handed us our drinks and food as I thanked him once again.

"Was?", he took a sip of his latte.

"He's dead. Now answer my question, how old are you Colin?", I changed the subject, I saw the look in his eyes nevertheless.

Guilt.

Something I've only seen when looking in the mirror.

"I'm 23, born in London, have a sister her name's Charlotte. She's with my mom in LA which is why I don't see them that often and my dad died three years ago because of cancer.", he said the last part so carelessly it almost slipped my mind what he just told me.

My eyes widened as he gave me a small smile.

We have something in common, we both lost our dads. He didn't ask me how I lost my dad because he knew how hard it was for me, he went through the same thing.

"My dad died four years ago, when I turned 18. Cancer too.", it was barely a whisper but he heard me anyway.

"Fuck cancer.", Colin spat, making me nod.

Through our conversation we talked about various things like music, movies and just childhood memories, it felt good to have someone who was willing to listen and understood how I felt.

He never confronted me with the mob-talk we had at the club, he either really thought I was extremely drunk and talked bullshit or let it slip. Whatever it was I was thankful for it, I didn't want to talk about it and that way I could actually have a good friend for once and not abandon him at all. Yes I have Skylar, but I didn't know if it was because of my dad or just because of my personality but I feel more comfortable around guys, meaning I like talking to them...the ones who aren't complete assholes.

Let me tell you the list is short.

After two good hours he paid for us both-even though I protested-and walked me back to my apartment. I thanked him for today and waved before leaving, today didn't go as planned but I liked the way it ended so I wasn't really complaining. Back at my apartment, I made myself something to eat and prepared my stuff for tomorrow, Tuesday ugh...

I know that Skylar will press me until I finally tell her about the club and I'm not really ready for that but when would I ever be?

***

"Was he hot?", Skylar wiggled her eyebrows making me groan.

"I was drunk and we danced for a second-I-yes he was extremely hot.", I huffed out annoyed.

"You said that your new friend Kevin-"

"It's Col or Colin.", I snorted, she waved her hand dismissively.

"Whatever, you said that he knows the hottie. Did you ask Colin for hotties number?"

"No? He seemed like a fuckboy and I really don't need that right now.", I told her as I folded some shirts.

"What about Colin?", she smirked causing me to roll my eyes at her.

"No. He is just a friend.", she shrugged.

"You can always be more than just friends chica."

"I'm good.", I spoke, signalising that the conversation was over.

"You're annoying, I really don't know what you're afraid of but not all men are trash.", she groaned.

"The majority are and that's enough for me."

"Unbelievable.", Sky shook her head.

"Anyone with a boyfriend would say that.", I mumbled rolling my eyes.

When I was younger I was very naive, thinking boys would treat girls like gentlemen, just how they should. But I quickly realised that they only used us for their own pleasure, like toys. That's why I began using them the same way they used me, for my own pleasure and that only. After my first and second crush I quickly discarded the idea of love, knowing that it was useless. And then I began working at the strip club confirming my theory that boys slash men ain't shit.

***

a/n: sometimes I just wanna give her a hug