A Student | ✔️

Chapter 5

I want to, I really want to go to sleep and close my eyes, let my body go numb and fall into the pitch dark oblivion. But the sob in my chest is choking me, and all the overwhelming little things make no approval to fall asleep.

"Why?" I ask and I know he knows what I'm talking about.

"I wanted to push you away," and I nod, it's understandable. "Because I'm no good, and look at you, you're smart and beautiful, you'll always be out of my league."

Out of his league? He's joking right? He can have anyone, because no one is good enough for him. He can pick anyone, and I volunteer, but he's set on being too bad. He's what girls fan girl about, and even better than some and boy jerk, but an actual good person.

"I had to be selfless for once," he adds and I creep my fingers under his hand.

I sigh. The simple comfort of having someone else's sensation is comforting.
For once? He was selfless when he listened to my tantrums and my goals. He listened to me when no one else gave a fuck about me. Me, I've always listened to people, but I've never had someone to listen to me until he engulfed me in his arms. That was the most selfless thing anyone has done for me, to actually listen to me.

"Don't think I did it on purpose," I say trying to concentrate on my breathing. I bet he thinks I'm a clingy nerd, trying to keep him by my side with black mail. I really hope he's aware that's not true, and that the last thing I want to appear as is clingy. To prove such I would fake my best smile as he walks through that door and never look back, and I would never show him how much it hurts.

He laughs humorlessly. "Nysa I've had all kinds of girls blackmail me, but I'm sure none of them could pull off what you did to me back there. You scared me, you-" he sighs and looks away. "If I would've known I wouldn't have been so harsh about it."

"Just because of what happened doesn't mean I'm a broken doll," I snap. "Just say what you have to say and stop prolonging the goodbye. By the way, I'm sorry I scared you."

He remains silent, thinking of it deeply and concerned. "I don't want to say goodbye," he murmurs after a long time of thinking and my heart hammers in my chest. I slide my fingers between his and our hands tighten around each other's.

"Stay," I say and quickly add, "just until I fall asleep."

He looks hesitant as he nods. I swallow hard and scoop to the edge of the small bed. He lays behind me and I let out a shaky breath as his arm easily cups me in his arm and tenderly pulls me closer.

I close my eyes snuggling closer and pout, he feels so warm and safe. He takes both hands, the one above my head and the one that lays over my abdomen, and stars to make circular motions over my wrists with his thumb. That's my anesthesia, he already knows this, that's my shut down button, my stress reliever, just that little touch of his and I've given all for the day. "Go to sleep, baby girl," he softly whispers and I barely nod my head.

I wish I would've stayed awake longer, to carve in my memory this moment, but my body gives up and shuts down, falling into an oblivious darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you think I should knock on her eyes and see if they open?"

"Dear friend of mine, when are you ever learning? You can just throw on her some cold water, that's less risky."

"Nah, we gotta save water for next ice bucket challenge. Maybe if we tickle her with a syringe she'll wake up,"
Syringe?! I open my eyes faster than I realize I'm awake, and flutter my eyes open.

I cower backwards against the wall and prop my knees up to my chest. I look around the room, my eyes hurting from the sudden and drastic change of light. But my eyes gain focus and I see two tall boys standing at the end of the bed, talking about tortuous methods to wake me up. It's Cris and Ray, the two goofy friends I dearly have learnt to adore.