Hijacked

Sanity

"My name is Peeta. Peeta Melark. I was in the 74th and 75th Hunger Games." The sweat contiued to drip down my forehead and my fists were clenched at my sides. "My name is Peeta Melark and I escaped the Hunger Games. Catora blew out the arena. Catora is the love of my life. Catora is captured. Possibly dead. Catora, Catora. CATORA!" My breathing was heavy so it's no wonder I was found so easily. Plus I wasn't being too quiet. Two men appeared out of nowhere and marched toward me ready to drag me back and strap me down to my bed. "NO! YOU HAVE TO LET ME LEAVE! I have too... I HAVE TO FIND CATORA!" I screamed at them. Backing up I turned around and ran right into two more doctors. "NO! Let me go!" I shouted.

"Peeta calm down!" someone exclaimed. The voice was familiar.

"Just leave me alone." I chocked out.

"You need to get a hold of yourself." Haymitch shouted at me.

"Why? Why do I have to 'get a hold of myself'? Do none of you care that the Capitol has Catora?! Why did you save me? Why the hell did you save me?" I demanded.

"We tried to save both of you damnit Peeta. It didn't work." Haymitch hissed. I allowed the men to drag me away. This was a scene that had played over and over for the past month. Haymitch yelling at me, people telling me to get a grip on reality and me obsessing over the fact that Catora was gone and there was nothing I could do about it.

It took everything out of me to convince myself that what was happening was real. Sometimes it didn't feel like it. Sometimes I swore to god I would wake up in the arena, Catora curled up against me. She would ask if I was having a bad dream and then kiss my cheek and tell me that we were fine. The Arena was a paradise compared to this torture.

Every night, and most days, felt like one big hallucination. Sometimes I woke up shaking and all I could see was the trees from the jungle and hear the sounds of the animals in it. My heart would pound mercilessly in my chest and then I would blink and it would disappear. One of the doctors, I forget his name, told me I had to go over everything I was certain of in my head like my name. But mostly, all I can think about when I wake up is Catora and where she is and what is happening to her in the Capitol.

Do they really have her and Johanna? What are they doing to them? Torturing them? Or were they already dead? The thought makes me shudder and want to break down. If she was dead, there was nothing I cared about anymore. Nothing at all. Screw the rebellion. It was pointless if I had nothing to fight for.

--

"Peeta." A voice said softly. I ground my teeth and clenched my jaw, refusing to look at her. Katniss had become a frequent visitor this past month. I think she felt bad for me, that and I was the last link to Catora anyone had. I was grateful Gale didn't show his face often though. If I looked at him too hard I might just want to kill him. "Peeta you can't keep doing this." She said coming around the end and sitting on her regular chair.

"Doing what?" I murmured, not looking at her. She pursed her lips and clasped her hands together.

"Trying to run off. 13 won't let you, not to mention Haymitch." She sighed. "I want to help Catora too Peeta believe me but.."

"But nothing. If you want to help her, then you'd be trying to help me escape, not sitting around here following their stupid rules." Katniss looked away when I glared at her. She stood slowly, and suddenly I saw this fire in her that. I hadn't seen before.

"Look Peeta, I've been trying to get through to you, make you see that you have to become the Mockingjay. It's what Catora would have wanted and don't tell me she didn't want to start a war because I know that." She said as I began to open my mouth. "But she would hate to know that you could have done something, saved people's lives but instead you're sitting here."