Hijacked

Starting Over

One night, I woke up to hear baby Maxim crying. Lifting the covers off of myself I rubbed my eyes and walked over to his crib. "Ah baby what's wrong?" I whispered reaching down and lifting him up. Maxim doesn't cry often so this wave of tears most have had some reason. "Shhh.. You're okay." I said softly wiping at the tears with his blanket.

"Catora?" A voice whispered. I turned to find Peeta standing in the hallway.

"Peeta?" I whispered back. He walked in and turned on the lamp by my bed.

"I heard him crying.. From across the Victory Village." I smiled a little as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair. I walked towards him, rocking Maxim a little.

"Everything's fine. I don't know why he's crying but.." As I stood next to Peeta, Maxim looked up and whimpered. His little hands hit his blanket as he continued to cry.

"Hey buddy. What's the matter?" Peeta asked touching his stomach lightly. I held Maxim out to Peeta and he hesitantly took him. Even though we've been here for a month now, Peeta still asks me if he can hold him. I've told him time and time again that Maxim is his son too, not just mine. His response to that always is, But you're his mother. I don't really know how that's any different than being his father but for him it is.

"He might be hungry." I say when Maxim doesn't stop crying. Sometimes when he cries, Peeta is able to calm him down but this apparently isn't one of those occasions.

"Oh do you.. Want me to leave then?" He asked.

"No, it's fine." I say, taking Maxim back. He always gets a little uncomfortable when I'm feeding Maxim. "It's not like you haven't seen me naked before." I remind him as I drape a blanket over my shoulder and bring Maxim up to my chest. Peeta's cheeks turn red.

"Do you remember that night?" He asks. I nod my head slowly, sitting down.

"Most of it.. I think. We got married I know that." I say softly. Peeta doesn't reply. "And we had a little too much to drink before we went up to your room and made Maxim." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Sorry."

"For what? I hope you're not apologizing for Maxim. I love him." I say softly. He's finally calmed down now so he probably was just hungry.

"No.. Not for that." He sighs. "It was a good night. Probably one of my favorite ones and you don't remember it." I purse my lips.

"Real or not real, it was your idea to get married."

"Real."

"Did I want to be married to you?" Peeta nodded his head slowly.

"I think so.. You didn't want to have a big Capitol wedding but.. I think you got it wrapped up in your head that if it wasn't public then it wasn't a real marriage but.. That night before the reaping. It was a real marriage. We both agreed to it and nobody had to be there to witness it." I know I shouldn't bring it up but I have to. His hands are stained with charcoal.

"You're not sleeping." I state. Peeta sighs.

"You aren't doing much of that either." He's right. It's a miracle I fell asleep tonight and just poor luck that Maxim started crying. Dr. Aurelius gave me medication to help me fall asleep, sometimes I take it and there are no dreams, sometimes they get worse. I usually opt out for taking the medicine and decide to stay awake all night and through the day. "Have you talked to the Doc about.." I nod my head.

"I don't think they'll go away just through therapy though Peeta." I murmur. "Besides, that's pretty hypocritical. He says you refuse to talk to him."