Marvel's Merc With A Mouth gets his own RWBY/Marvel spinoff as Wade W. Wilson fights against enemies, swearing the most swear able, and fourth walling YOU readers.
DP/N: So let's recall. Domino and I are recruited to help Benedict Cumberbatch with white sideburns and not-so-broken hands and a slightly more attractive version of the Oracle from Matrix to stop some butt hurt cosmic-powered fanbabies who can't accept this universe the way it is. As that's happening I'm on a date with Banshee's daughter and apparently Black Tom Cassidy's cousin at the Fantastic Four's pizzeria. Speaking of that tree-hugger, Theresa and I are fighting him while She-Thing's fighting the unstoppable brown chrome dome. And also, there's some bounty on my head!
Both Deadpool and Theresa fought against Black Tom Cassidy as civilians and patrons were running to the exits, apart from where Sharon Ventura and Juggernaut were fighting. Apart from one old man with sunglasses just sitting there on his table watching the fighting go on. "Gee, what has the world come to?" asked the man to himself. "Can't a fella enjoy himself with a slice of pie without some no-do-gooder or two mess the place? Geez. Maybe I oughta go visit my brother at Vista Verde."
(DP/N: See above) Deadpool went flying as Black Tom's shillelagh hit him. He landed butt first into a trash can next to an arcade prize counter. "Just you wait, Man-Thing!" gritted Deadpool. "When I get my ass out of this, I'm gonna shove you right up Juggernaut's ass!" He looked up to see several toys, posters, and T-Shirts of the Fantastic Four. "Seriously this author has a thing for the FF," muttered the mercenary. Deadpool then saw a poster of Human Torch blasting a wave of flames. He quickly got into some thinking as a lightbulb above his head lit up and he grinned underneath his mask. But first Deadpool had to get himself out of the trash can.
Sharon had changed her arms into like that of the Thing's as she swung her rocky fists at Juggernaut who spouted, "That all you got, girlie? The real Thing put up more of a fight!" That made her mad as she then slammed her right rocky fist on his stomach which made him grunt in pain and Sharon lifted Juggernaut with her elbow around his helmet and did a brain buster slamming him on his back. Juggernaut got up and threw his fist at Sharon which only staggered her a bit. He then charged toward her using his helmet as battering ram as Sharon pushed against Juggernaut but her boots started creasing the floor. She yelled as she turned her right leg into orange rocks and slammed her right knee on his nose through the helmet. That made Juggernaut's head go up as the second Ms. Marvel grabbed him by the arm and slammed him on the floor. She jumped up and elbowed him on the back. "Time for your yoga lesson!" proclaimed Sharon as she grabbed his left leg and started pulling it toward her and his back. Juggernaut shouted, "Okay, I surrender! STOP!" Sharon smiled in victory as she grabbed a metal rod and bent it to bound Juggernaut.
Both Theresa and Black Tom exchanged both sonic scream and fiery blast but the two were immune to each other's attacks. She swung a fist to break his nose as Black Tom glowered and saw a few small planted trees for decoration as he smirked. Using his semblance, Black Tom used the trees to coil his first cousin as she struggled in her bindings. "Now, now, my sweet little flower," grinned Black Tom in mock kindness. "All I want is your boyfriend and we can go out like a family." Theresa spat, "You abducted from my mum when I was just a baby and you forced me to live out a life of crime! You're not my family and neither is that frat brother of a brute you call a friend." He snickered, "You always did have a sweet mouth." Deadpool quickly came in and sliced off the plants bounding Theresa with his swords and did a roundhouse kick on Black Tom's side. Black Tom grunted as the two tackled each other making Deadpool teleport the two into a huff of smoke. Theresa dragged herself off as she was met with the former She-Thing. "Your date didn't go as well as you hoped?" asked Sharon. Theresa looked around to see the wrecked pizzeria as she responded, "What do you think?"
Deadpool had transported them to a gas station he kicked Black Tom off of him. "Tell me, Wade," taunted Black Tom. "Has my sweet little flower seen what you look like under that mask?" Deadpool replied, "Has anyone ever told you shouldn't have dreadlocks in prison?" He quickly grabbed a pump and bent down to show his Spandex tight ass to put it in between his legs. Deadpool then sprayed the flammable liquid toward his enemy as he added an already lit lighter to make a torrent of fiery gasoline push back Black Tom. "Flame fuckin' on!" quipped Deadpool.
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Black Tom fell on his side as Deadpool leaped up and swung his katanas at his enemy. Black Tom blocked the attack with his shillelagh and did a spinning kick to which Deadpool dodged. The two exchanged blows with their handheld weapons as Black Tom shot a concussive blast with his shillelagh on Deadpool's chest which made him go back near a trash can. He spotted a dirty diaper and threw it directly at Black Tom's face. "Dirty diaper, really?" asked Deadpool to Daleandjakup97. The Wattpad writer responded, "What's more fun than humiliating one of your greatest enemies on Wattpad?" Deadpool grinned, "Oh, you wanna humiliate Black Tom? This is how you do it!" He ran toward Black Tom as the Merc With The Mouth flipped over him just when Black Tom took the diaper off of him. Then Deadpool gave Black Tom a massive wedgie and put his underwear cartoonishly over his head. Then he kicked him right in the jewels as Black Tom screamed at a high note almost worthy of his cousin and first cousin. He curled up on the ground as Deadpool took a picture and posted it on his social media page called Twert. "This is Howie do it!" sang Deadpool mockingly. He looked at the reader and said, "Oh, fun fact. Wolverine has his own Twert account just so you know."
Later Both Black Tom and Juggernaut were escorted into an airship as a female cyborg followed suit. "Well, isn't that foreshadowing," muttered Deadpool. Theresa came up to him as she apologized, "Sorry that my family drama ruined our date." Deadpool shrugged, "It's alright. Not your fault. I had that one coming for a while." She took his hand as she offered, "Shall we go back?" Deadpool nodded as the two took a few steps and teleported in a huff of smoke. Sharon sighed as she muttered, "Ben's gonna kill me when he hears about this..."
