Queen One Shots

Everything I Wanted - Freddie and Brian

Request from Living_on_my_own
There are mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts so please don't read this if you know this will upset you.

FREDDIE'S POV

I was stood on the bridge with everyone I know watching me. They weren't even trying to stop me, the looks on their faces were... encouraging. I thought they would care but who was I kidding? I only felt two things, numbness and hurt. It hurt to see Brian there with no emotion, waiting for me to jump. So I did.

My eyes shot open when I hit the ground, waking me up from my deep sleep. I got my breathing back to normal before looking beside me. Brian slept peacefully, the little snores he made being the only sound to fill the room alongside my thumping heartbeat.

My head began to fill with those intrusive thoughts again. The dream felt so real, it felt like they were right there. He wouldn't care if I was gone. For sure he would find someone else to be with, someone far better than me. Nobody would care if I was gone - nobody! They would all very easily replace me.

'I don't wanna lie here' I thought before I slipped out of the bedroom and snuck out of the house. I hastily made my way to the bridge in my dreams. The bridge I grew familiar with in my nightmares. All of my problem started when I was a boy. I was bullied, they called me weak and their words went straight to my head. As I've grown up, the names I've been called have only got worse, sending me on a downward spiral.

BRIAN'S POV

I started to become aware that I was in bed alone and forced my eyes open to look for Freddie. It was very early in the morning and my body was not ready to wake up yet. But I knew something was wrong.

Of course I knew about Freddie's mental health problems - sometimes he would be quite open about it. But recently he's been getting worse. He hardly talks, he stays at home, he sometimes skips meals. I'm scared of talking to him sometimes, I'm afraid I'll say something wrong, something that will hurt him.

Don't get me wrong. There is nobody in this world that I love more than Freddie. We have been together for what seems like forever.

That is how I know something is wrong. It's become an instinct of mine.

FREDDIE'S POV

I could sense a figure behind me but I didn't care to acknowledge them. I was now on the wrong side of the railings, watching the rushing water below me.

"F-Freddie" The voice physically startled me

"Freddie please, come here" Brian whimpered, "You're scaring me"

"Please leave me be Brian" I sighed

"I can't do that Freddie. I love you, y'know that right?" Brian spoke softer than usual

"It hurts Bri" I admitted. All I want is for the pain to go away.

"As long as I'm here Freddie, no one can hurt you. I won't let anybody hurt you. I'm here for you - please let me help" Brian pleaded

"I can't do this" I stated

"I want to change the way you see yourself Fred. Sometimes I can't get my head around the fact that you can't see yourself as how I see you. You're the most lovable, charming, caring man I've ever met. All of the people that have upset you or hurt you in the past, they don't deserve any of your attention. They don't deserve you. I know you can rise above them" Brian's voice was getting closer to me, "Look at me"

"Brian stop" I tried to beg

"Look at me, please" I couldn't disobey him, his voice was desperate and filled me with guilt. When I finally looked at him and we made eye contact he said, "I love you"

"I love you too" a single tear dropped from my eye before looked back down to the rapid river below me

"If you jump, I'm going to jump right after you" Brian said as he leaned against the railings

"No Brian" I sighed

"Then please come here. I promise you we can sort this out, get all the help you deserve" Brian tilted his head

I don't want to let anybody know about my troubles. But I don't want to let Brian down.

Brian suddenly spoke up, "I know what your thinking Freddie, you're not letting me down"

"How did you know?" I questioned

"The same way I knew you were here and something was wrong" Brian said smugly, "I think we both need a hug and I don't see anyone else around to give me a hug so will you please come here?"

My heart ached. Knowing that Brian needed a hug was the tie that brought me back to him. I clambered over the railings before he practically jumped on me. And it was true, I needed a hug as well but it was only in this moment that I realised it.

"If you want it, we can get help. Whatever you need, I'm going to get it for you whilst being right here by your side" Brian mumbled into my shoulder as he squeezed me tight

"Thank you Bri. You're the best" I closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel safe in his arms.