Queen One Shots

Stuttering (Freddie and John)

Freddie's POV

My fingertips grazed over his hip bones. It was late into the morning and we really should be getting up. But it felt impossible. We had a very tiring night, no thanks to Roger. He refused to go home from the club. He was drunk off his head. After much negotiation and bribing we still had to practically drag him back to his flat. It also didn't help that he lives on the other side of town and both me and John had too much alcohol to drive. This meant we had to walk and we didn't arrive home until the early hours.

We played a gig last night too. It wasn't the best as I stuttered a bit. I had an issue with stuttering since I was a very young boy. However, when I perform it vanishes. It's like I'm a different person with a different voice. But as soon as I step off stage I become that vulnerable guy who can't get his words out properly.

It always surprised me how John could ever love me. I have to pinch myself every morning to make sure that it wasn't a dream that he was cuddled up to me. He's incredibly loving and unjudgemental, unlike all the other guys I've met in my life.

John's POV

I had been awake for a while but my eyes refused to peel open. It was difficult to not move as Freddie was drawing zig zags on my waist and it tickled. It was always the little things that I loved most about Freddie. The way he does this in the mornings to wake me up, the way his eyes twinkle, the way he covers his face when he is blushing. I liked Freddie's shy and quiet nature, I didn't mind that he stuttered - that's just another element of him to love.

Again, I struggled to not move when Freddie began to speak. I realised he didn't think I was awake so I just listened. I could tell by his voice that he'd been wanting to say these things for a while. It upset me sometimes because I know he feels like he can't talk to anyone about his problems. I always offer to, but he says he feels like a burden.

"Sometimes I f-feel like I can't talk to anyone about how I feel. The t-truth is I struggle, a lot. I don't know how to ask for h-h-help. I feel like you deserve much better than me John. B-because I don't know how to love. I've never loved myself because the way I sp-speak so how do I know I'm loving you the right way? This sounds s-so stupid."

Freddie's POV

It felt good getting those words out, even if John can't hear it. To be honest it was good for myself to hear, to know that the thoughts in my head were real and not just my imagination.

I carried on talking, "I'm sorry I can't give you my all. But I t-try. I really do. I know I'm f-far from what you deserve. I'll never be enough for you" I closed my eyes to try and surpass the tears

All of a sudden, John rolled over and kissed me. It was so quick I didn't know what was happening until his lips were connected with mine. His hands were positioned on either side of my head, holding him up so he was slightly hovering over me. His eyes were sad though, I don't like it when he is upset.

"Freddie, you are more than enough for me, you're my entire world and you need to understand that" John stuck his bottom lip out in a pout

"S-Sorry dear. You weren't supposed to hear all that" I looked down, embarrassed

"I'm glad I did" he smiled, "I wish I'd known how you felt"

"I don't want to trouble you" I shook my head

"You don't Fred. I love you so much for who you are. I know it's difficult but you need to love yourself and be honest with me" John spoke softly and meaningfully

"I will. I promise. Love you" I stroked his cheek

"Love you too" John gave me that warm smile.

A/n: for those who don't know, I suffer from a speech impairment. Writing really helps me because I can get my views and thoughts across without interruption. I also felt it was important to write this, maybe to help myself? I don't know! Maybe it's just awareness too. Anyway, have a good day!

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