What Can I Do // Dalpop

Not All's Lost

(Soda's P.O.V.)

I woke up after having a bad dream. In the dream my best friend hated me for being who I am and he spit in my face, my older brother screamed at me when I defended myself and my youngest brother couldn't even look at me.

Oh shit...this is real life.

I wanted to cry, but I've done enough of that today. I looked at the clock, 2:36.

I slowly crept out of bed and looked at Dally. He looked like a really nice person when he was sleeping. Which he was. Even before he opened up to me, I always had a feeling.

I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, ugh, I look like someone scared the shit out of me. Oh well.

I washed my hands and opened the door. I looked up and saw Dally. "What's wrong?" He said very sleepily. "Nothing, Dal. You didn't have to get up just to check on me." He wrapped me in a warm, unexpected yet loving hug. I love him so much. "I just want to make sure you're alright. I wouldn't want to be alone if I were in your position."

I hugged him back and it felt like he was gonna fall asleep standing up, "Thank you, Dally. Now, let's go back to bed."

I led him to the bed and he went back to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

But I was thinking. About Steve. About Darry. And about Dally.

'How am I gonna face Darry tomorrow? He wouldn't even hear what I had to say. I don't think.....I don't think I can go back. Not yet at least.

-

I was being shook by Dally and I opened my eyes to see that he had a worried look on his face.

I sat up and asked, "What's wrong?" He gulped and said, "Darry has been calling all morning. He was worried like hell and he wanted to know if you were here and if you were okay."

"What did you tell him?" I asked, "I told him that you were here and that you were perfectly fine. But he said that if you didn't come home in the next hour that he would come and drag you back home if he had to." Dally explained.

My heart dropped. I can't go home. He was cruel to me and I don't want to speak to him or even see him.

Dally sat next to me with a pained look on his face. "I...I'm real sorry, man." I put my head on his shoulder and said, "Don't be. I'm just gonna have to put my big boy pants on and go home."

Dally sighed and kissed my forehead, "Want me to drive you?" I nodded and he grabbed my hand.

"It's gonna be okay. Just don't argue with Darry. It'll only make things worse. I'm sure I'll still be able to come over." He said sheepishly.

I nodded my head. He's right. Maybe I should just let Darry yell at me. Become his punching bag, I mean, I'm already Steve's.

"Okay...I'll get ready." I said as I stood up. Dally nodded and headed downstairs.

-

We were in Dally's truck, neither of us were speaking. Not because it was awkward, I think it was because we were both thinking about what this means for us. Darry could easily tell me not to go with Dally to Buck's ever again.

I hate my life sometimes.

We pulled up to the house and Dally parked. He looked at me with worried eyes and said, "Do you want me to go in with you?" But I shook my head and said, "I don't want him to yell at you, that'll set me off."

He gave me a uncertain expression and said, "Good luck." I nodded and got out.

We waved at each other and he pulled off.

'Okay. You'll be fine Soda, just don't talk back and maybe I can still go to Buck's with Dally.' I told myself as I opened the door.

I was greeted with a death stare from Darry. I closed the door and walked over to the couch and sat down. Might as well be comfortable for this.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Darry yelled, "I'm sorry Darry, I should've left a note or-," I tried to explain but he cut me off,

"A note?! That's not the point, Soda. You shouldn't have ran away in the first place!" He continued to yell.

I hung my head down. I was angry at him but at the same time I could see where he was coming from.

Darry paused and said, "Look at me, Soda!" I looked him and he continued, "Do you understand what could happen if social services found out you were running away?!" I nodded my head but he wasn't buying it.

"Clearly you don't, because if you did then you wouldn't have done something that stupid!" I was on the verge of tears. I wish he could see where I was coming from, but Darry continued on.

"I can't believe this...I thought you had more sense than this. First you get into a fight for no good reason, then you get suspended from work, and on top of all of that, you run away!" I can't believe he thinks I fought Steve for no reason. I didn't want to believe that
Darry thinks this low of me.

Darry stared at me intensely and said, "What do you have to say for yourself?!"

I looked into Darry's eyes and saw hatred and disgust. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

Tears started to flow from my eyes. Darry looked shocked, I tried to speak again.

"I-I didn't mean to cause e-everyone so much p-pain." I sunk my head down and started to bawl for real now.

Darry gasped and took a step toward me, I looked at him with betrayed eyes. "Look, Soda, I didn't mean to make you cry."

My gaze towards Darry turned slowly from sad to enraged. "What did you mean to do then, Darry?! Break down any piece of self-worth I had left? If I had any doubts before that I'm not just a screw up and that my brothers would always hear me out and have my back...you've crushed it."

Darry took a step back and said, "Now, Soda, take that back, I've always had your back and you know it!" I wiped tears off of my face and said, "You still think that I fought Steve for no reason. He spit on me, Darry!"

Darry's eyes widened, "He what?" I sighed, "He swung me to the ground and spit on my face after I refused to speak to him. You would've known that if you had listened to what I was saying."

Darry looked really sad. I didn't like to make people I love sad, but I seem to be pretty damn good at it.

"I....I'm so sorry, Soda. I should have heard what you had to say instead of yelling over you." A tear was forming in his eye.

"I'm not perfect. I make mistakes a lot. I shouldn't have screamed at you today or yesterday. I'm so so sorry, Soda." Darry was crying now, "I never meant to hurt your self esteem, I'm supposed to build you up and make you feel worthy. I'm a pathetic excuse of a brother."

I stood up and slowly walked toward him. I wrapped my arms around him and cried. He was crying too. I guess the expression, 'Hurt people hurt people.' Is true.

I pulled away and he looked at me, "Why go to Buck's?" He asked, "Because Dally listened to what I had to say and he made me feel better when I had no one else to talk to. He's pretty good at it." I explained

Darry wiped his tears, then wiped mine, "I'm sorry, kid. I'll try to get better at listening, I promise." I smiled at him genuinely and he hugged me.

It felt like I had my brother back. I'm  glad I was able to get through to him. I really need someone else in my corner.

I pulled away from the hug and heard sniffling behind the couch, I looked behind it and saw Ponyboy wiping tears away, "That was so beautiful." He said.

This kid is something else. We all started chuckling and Darry threw a pillow at Pony, "That's for eavesdropping." Pony smiled and shrugged.

-

I was laying in bed next to Ponyboy. I was almost asleep when I heard a knock on my window.

I looked out to see who it was.

Fuck.

It was Steve.

(Thank you for reading this story. You all should message me, being in quarantine is pretty boring. Have a great day or night🖤🖤🖤🖤)