10 HOURS AWAY | Harry Styles AU

chapter 19 - radio silence

10 HOURS AWAY | Harry Styles AU

chapter 19 - radio silence

Being hurt is horrible.

Being hurt by somebody is more horrible.

Being hurt by somebody who makes you feel bigger things than firework and butterflies, but makes you fall in the darkest hole with nothing more than one sentence in their voice on repeat; 'But I've been hanging out with someone lately' is the most horrible thing in the world.

Suddenly, I didn't count the days until I could see him again.

No. I counted the days I had been without him.

Right now, there were 20 Harry-free-days.

During those days, I hadn't talked nor seen him because I was determined to keep my distance. I hung-out with Mia and sometimes Carter and Isaac joined us. We would watch a movie, go out for dinner, buy groceries, write in the library, do a stupid drinking game, or talk.

One time, I told them about Harry but, after that, we didn't talk about Harry anymore.

Also, after a while, I went to a mentor meeting and discussed the group Logan Hill had put me in. My mentor, Mrs. Clark, was thrilled to see I was finally taking steps. Not only had my writing become better, but my self-esteem too. Slowly but surely, I was coming to terms with what had held me back for years.

As I wasn't thinking about him, I tried very hard to become a better writer; practice my skills and believe in myself more than I used to. It baffled me how his words had made me change my mindset so drastically. With the support of Mia, Carter, and Isaac, I was walking on the right track.

I must admit, in the beginning, it was hard. Especially when I had to face Daisy at the get-togethers. Thankfully, Logan hadn't put us in the same small-group despite the fact I still had to face her regularly.

I wondered if she knew how lucky she was.

But it would be weird to ask her. Because asking her meant I let Harry have control over my feelings and I couldn't put myself through something like that – again.

So Mia encouraged me to ignore her during those meetings. Every time I tried harder and harder. It was getting easier over time.

After the first 10 days which passed, Daisy had become Harry's future girlfriend instead of the beautiful brunette who I had wished to be.

While I had distanced myself from Harry, I decided to call my parents more often. I started talking to my brother, too. It was refreshing not to talk about the writing program twenty-four-seven. I wanted to know everything about their lives back in Brussels.

At one point, my brother asked me if I missed my hometown. I hadn't given it much thought since my arrival, but I did miss my hometown. I missed my friends, my family, and being able to do everything I wanted. Living in New York City came with its restrictions.

Having conversations with my family members once in a while gave me extra joy.

When my brother started texting me more often, I spotted Harry's name in my lists of chats. It was better to delete our conversation than being remembered too many times.

Everything we had once sent to each other was gone after a single swipe.

There was no trace of Harry.

It was around 7 pm on Friday. The four of us had been sitting on the bench in the park nearby drinking coffee – taking occasional sips. We were seated on the same spot Carter and I once talked about his mother and her passing. They still didn't know we had an incredibly personal conversation here, but that was okay. No one else needed to know.