10 HOURS AWAY | Harry Styles AU

chapter 55 - pretending

10 Hours Away | Harry Styles AU

chapter 55 - pretending

Falling asleep had turned into a hopeless task. Whenever I closed my eyes, and tried my hardest to drift off, her name popped up in my head; Ruby.

I hadn't heard of her nor crossed paths, so I didn't know who this Ruby was. But, according to the text messages she had sent, I straight off concluded they were more than friends – despite not having actual proof.

Staying awake seemed like the only option I had left right now. That's why I was seated in the kitchen, staring at a bottle of red wine. My lipstick stain covered a part of the wine glass, and I studied it closely.

When I arrived at my home, I was barely intoxicated. The red wine stimulated my slightly drunken state, hence why I was lightheaded again. Touching my face, I could feel how flushed my cheeks were - the alcohol was doing its job.

Sitting here, I thought of tonight. I had truly enjoyed myself, but a part of me had my guard up. I could've stayed longer and behaved like no one was watching, but I had a hard time letting go because I knew there was a big chance Harry would bump into someone else.

I had no idea if he had met Ruby tonight or if they had been chatting for some time now. All I knew was that it did trouble me more than I was willing to admit to myself. If I were to find out he'd been talking to a new girl, I knew it wouldn't make me happy. I just hadn't imagined it would make sleeping unrealizable. Specifically after multiple drinks.

Standing up, I grabbed the bottle and my glass. I waltzed towards my desk and placed the beverage next to my typewriter.

As I barely touched the keys, it was no surprise I'd start typing within seconds. In the back of my mind, I was already thinking of what I wanted to write.

After feeding new paper into the machine, I began. At first, the words showed up sequentially but then inspiration hit me. Without the ability to stop, I persisted to use my imagination but also real-life experiences. Pushing the carriage frequently into its place, I was determined to go through with my late-night writing session.

Hours flew by and the pile of paper grew bigger and bigger. I went over the story as pacing back and forth in the living room while a cigarette dangled between my lips. Now and then, I came to a halt to take a sip of my drink but I made sure to continue where I had left off.

While I studied my work closely, I added notes. A few parts needed some crucial changes, which I was able to make tomorrow.

For a moment I asked myself whether I wanted to write a second draft in a sober or a tipsy state, but forcing myself to keep writing would be a big challenge. It wasn't strenuous for me to keep going for hours on end. I wasn't capable of staying awake the entire night because I noticed myself getting tired after I had emptied the bottle and finished the last page. The papers were messily scattered across my desk. Be that as it may, I didn't care to put it in the correct order. It was my last concern.

I glanced at the clock and saw it was 8 am. Not once had I bothered to look at the time to find out if I should've been in bed already. But since the windows were completely covered, there wasn't any sunlight peeking through the blinds, thus I had no idea it was already 8 am.

Normal people would be on their way to their nine-to-five job, but I carried the empty bottle and filthy glass to the kitchen.

The minute I closed my eyes, held myself steady by holding the counter, sleep hit me the hardest combined with the alcohol. Sighing, I knew it was time to undress and sleep for days. Making my way to my bedroom, I took my clothes off and let them fall on the ground. I grabbed an oversized shirt and covered my body with it. After brushing my teeth and removing my make-up, I crawled underneath my covers and slept for a very long time.