Erkenci Kus, The Continuing Story

Behind Closed Doors pt 2

"If you are worried that I am angry about this, about us not having been intimate, not having made love? You are wrong. I could not be happier."

Sanem:

I cannot believe what I am hearing. I quickly sit up in bed and out of Cans' arms then turn around so I am facing him. I need to see him, to look into his eyes. "I am so afraid, Can. These days with you have been like a dream. A dream I never want to wake up from. I am holding on too tight. I am afraid I made one of those terrible mistakes again. One that would send you away in a rage, Can." I stop talking, I need to try and get some control because I sound out of control and half crazy. Uff! Can is looking at me with those eyes. And that face, so gentle and sweet, with the look that always makes me dizzy. Can gently touches my face, strokes my hair, then gently pulls me back into his arms. He picks me up to sit me in his lap, wrapping his legs around mine, wrapping his arms around me, laying his head on my head. I am completely wrapped up in him and can barely breathe but I don't care. Then it dawns on me what Can had just said. I am confused and ask him, "What do you mean you could not be happier?"

Can:

I want to laugh at how adorable Sanem is right now. My emotions threaten to overpower me but I am so relieved. I had no idea what was going on in that head of hers. Seeing her upset like this does feel like it will destroy me. I am happy having her all wrapped up and safe, with me. When I tip her head back with my finger under her chin and look into her dreamy eyes, the way she looks back at me... Uff! She leaves me breathless. "Sanem, If we had been together, It would have been beautiful. But without my memories, I would not remember it. I kiss her nose and let my words sink in. "I would have missed it." I kiss her forehead and watch as tears fill her eyes. "I would be missing the memory of our first time together, how tragic that would be?"

I search in Sanem's eyes to make sure she is listening. "I would have missed 'your' first time. Allah Allah, I would not miss that for anything in the world." I kiss her sweet soft lips and feel them tremble. Ummm, the taste of her, her koku. Sanem is like a drug to me. I pull back just enough to see her face and brush away her tears with my thumbs. "You are the sweetest girl," I whisper close to her mouth. I have to close my eyes for a minute to get control because the way Sanem looks at me is overpowering and makes me totally weak. I take a deep breath but think, mmm, just one more kiss won't hurt. I ease her back on the pillows and into a kiss, one that I'm never going to end.

Sanem:

I have to wonder, is this as close to heaven as you can get? Can's fingers are playing in my hair. I have the most wonderful feelings being wrapped up in his arms, in his bed, with his soft, slow kisses that make my head spin. The words he just spoke to me belong in the world's most beautiful sonnet, in an epic and romantic poem. I decided that I will write them down and in our love story. The most beautiful love story ever told. A story that will be told and re-told, generation after generation. Could I love this man, my Albatross, any more than I do? Mmmm, Can is nipping at my lips and his are so soft, so warm. He has a unique taste and a unique fragrance, his koku. I have tried to capture it to create a scent for his own brand of cream but it still eludes me. Maybe it is better that I do not make it, for his scent is uniquely his and belongs only to me. Ahhh, now, I understand him better. I understand the way he feels about my koku, which belongs only to him.

My inner voice pops in to ask, am I seriously having this stupid conversation with myself? Right now? While Can Divit is kissing me in his bed? I open my eyes and wave her away. My eyes involuntarily close as I give in to the sensations he is creating and I sigh into his mouth. Can is very skillful in the art of kissing and easily and expertly leads me where he wants to go. Very gently he parts my lips to slide his tongue in to dance with mine, tasting, exploring. This... this is how the first time is supposed to be. I don't care about the rules or whatever the reasons are about why we have not been together. I want more. I increase the pressure of the kiss but Can pulls back, several times. I slip my hands into his hair and pull him hard, back to me. This always sends him over the edge, but not this time. He stays gentle, continuing to kiss me in a very leisurely way. When I make a small sound of frustration, I can feel him smile and it makes me giggle...giggle? Oh no...no!

Can:

Ahhh, I am trying so hard to keep it easy, gentle, and calm. Sanem has to end this kiss but she is not making it easy on me. She is hard to hold back right now and when she groans in frustration, I can't help but smile. She giggles in response and now I just have to tickle her. I can't help myself and now I cannot stop. I still get to touch her and make her squirm all over the bed. It is a great way to break the sexual tension that I have to keep under control. Sanem screams and wiggles, trying hard to get away from me but there is no chance she can. When she begs me to stop, I fall back into the pillows. Reaching my arms out to her, I wiggle my fingers motioning for her to come back into my arms. Her hair is a mess, and I run my fingers through the silky tresses to straighten it. Sanem falls into my arms, completely out of breath, and lays her head on my chest. I run my hand over her hair and casually mention that I love the sound of her begging me, and she pounces on me again. I laugh so hard at her determination to wrestle with me that we both end up on the floor, laughing hysterically.

Can:

I have to tell her what I am thinking before I hurt her feelings. "Sanem," I breathe out her name as I roll her over underneath me and pin her to the floor. Damn, even to my own ears I sound out of breath and a little desperate. "Birtanem, you make it rough on a guy. I am having the fight of my life trying to keep my hands off of you. I can see that you can take the girl out of the mahalle, but you cannot take the mahalle out of the girl. Now, the question is... what are we going to do about that?" I am caught as I gaze down into her trusting doe eyes. I can't help myself but glance down to her swollen lips that have turned into a pout. Ufff... I graze my nose along the length of hers, unable to take my eyes off of her rosy lips. As I lay between her legs, I realize this is not the position to be in if I am trying to hide my physical reaction to the way she excites me. It is pointless to ignore it. There is nothing to do at this point but to acknowledge it, and I will not apologize for it. Still, I do kiss those rosy lips for one long, delirious, lingering moment then help her up off the floor.

Sanem:

Can takes my hand and leads us to the kitchen. I'm a bit dazed, my lips are tingly, my core muscles are...I don't know...twisted? I am in my head, my photographic memory is replaying the last few moments with him laying on top of me on the floor. "Are you hungry?" I hear him ask. "Yes, are we mixing one hunger with another and feeding it with food again?" When I respond this way, I sound like a petulant child and regret it immediately.

Can stops dead in his tracks. His back is to me and he is still holding by hand, but is not turning around to me. I hear a sort of primal growl come from deep inside of him somewhere.