idiots || kaiisyourhomie

four

"sometimes at night- I wanna touch myself...but I DONT. Peanut butter helps." ~Sydney Novak, 2020
___________

I woke up to my phone going off, not my alarm, but someone was calling. I groaned and sat up to answer it, immediately remembering last night's "incident".

My tired expression softened to a sad one and I just flipped back onto my bed and tried to fall back asleep, but my phone kept ringing.

"Who the fuck is calling me?!" I yelled aggravated, picking up my phone and answering it. "Hello?"

"Y/n! I've called like fifty times, what the fuck!" Avivas voice beamed through the phone.

"Sorry, sorry, What do you want?"

"Where are you, school started almost an hour ago and I still don't see you anywhere," my eyes widened and sighed in realisation. Fuck. Come up with an excuse, quick Y/n.

"Oh, yeah, I've been feeling really sick this morning, so I didn't come."

"Bullshit-"

"It's not, okay! I'm not feeling well. Anyway, I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow if I'm feeling better."

"Alright, love you, bye" I said the same thing 'i love you bye' and hung up and laid back down. I tried to go back to sleep but ultimately failed and just stared at the ceiling for thirty minutes thinking about what happened with Kai last night and lying to Aviva today.

I sighed and finally got up, walking to my closet to get some fresh pajamas, comfy and pretty ones. I brushed my hair and grabbed my phone and went down stairs into the kitchen.

I made myself a bowl of cereal and just scrolled through Instagram on my phone. I went through my tagged and all I saw was screenshots of Kai and I's live. I started to get teary eyed again so I just decided to put my phone up.

At this point I didn't know what to do. I didn't wanna be on my phone, and I didn't wanna sit around on my ass and watch tv all day like I usually do when I'm sad.

I wish I could just go back to work, and hang out with Kai like normal without feeling awkward or just terrible.

I washed my dishes and went back into my room and changed into some comfy clothes. I decided I was gonna take some lettuce down to the park and feed the ducks (because you shouldn't actually feed them bread). So I grabbed my earbuds and my phone, and half a head of lettuce and started my walk to the park.

[SO AT THIS POINT I CAME BACK TO EDIT THIS CHAPTER AND WROTE THREE PARAGRAPHS AND IT ALL DELETED WOOHOO SO I HAD TO REWRITE ALL OF IT 😭]