Brighter Than a Spotlight (BTS Jimin x Twice Mina FF)

Awake

J I M I N

Today marks Minchan's one month birthday. He's already gotten bigger. Not much bigger, but it's something. I kind of hope he stays small, though.

He has really pretty eyes, a lot like Mina's. Lately, he's been making more different noises. I think he's starting to recognize our voices too, especially Mina's. Minchan seems to like it when Mina or I sing softly to him.

I love it when he wraps his little hand around my finger. He's growing so fast. I already feel like a proud dad.

Some nights, I just can't sleep. I realize how much responsibility I have and it keeps me up at night. It's strange when you think about it.

When you're alone, you're scared you'll never find love, but when you do, you're afraid something will take it away. Mina and I both have the responsibility of taking care of Minchan, but I have the responsibility of protecting both of them. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if anything were to happen to them on my watch.

Parenting is tiring, it really is, but when you get to see your baby smiling, you know it's been worth it.

But our fans are going to flip out when they find out. They know we've been gone, but they don't know the real reason why.

Mina and I made the decision to not show Minchan's face on camera just yet, but maybe when he's a little older. I think it's best for all of our safety.

We've been considering moving to a new house. We wouldn't be moving far, but we thought it would be better to have more space. This apartment isn't really fit for three people.

It'd be nice to have a house with a yard where Minchan can play. Somewhere near the schools a little bit away from the big city.

I've been at home for the past month and a half, but eventually I'll have to get back to working.

It's been nice waking up in the morning, not having to worry about time and schedules, but I do kind of miss it.

My parents haven't met Minchan yet. They're supposed to be coming down to visit in a few weeks. Mina's parents haven't met him either, but they're planning on visiting soon.

Yesterday, Minchan smiled at me for the first time.

It caught me off gaurd. I was holding hin, I just finished feeding him and I was sitting on the couch.

"All done. Are you happy now~?"

I try not to so much, but whenever I talk to Minchan I start using my baby voice.

I smiled when he started making noises and kicking his little feet.

"Appa loves you-"

I was about to kiss his forehead when he gave me the biggest smile.

I was surprised and found myself laughing. Mina was in the other room, but I wanted to call her over.

"Jagiya! Minchan just smiled!"

Mina walks into the room.

"Oppa, what are you shouting about?"

"Look, look," 

Mina sits next to me on the couch. 

Minchan had stopped smiling, so I tried to get him to do it again. 

"Minchan-ie~, eomma and appa love you~" 

He coos and smiles again. 

"Aww, I like that new smile~" Mina laughs like I did.

His smile grows when he hears Mina's voice.

Mina laughs softly, "He looks like you when he smiles like that."

"Does he?" I lightly brush my hand over his head, "Does Minchan look like appa~?"

I think he's starting to recognize his name too. Most of the time, he'll kick his feet when we say his name to him.

I know it's perfectly safe to take Minchan outside, but I'm still nervous about it. Just for now, I don't like bringing him outside unless it's necessary, like when we take him to the doctor.

Still, even after a month, a lot of people still don't know that we had a baby. We really didn't tell anyone else besides our parents, close family, BTS, and Twice.

I don't like lying to our friends and our fans so I think we might make the announcement soon.

I think we might hire our own bodyguard too. I don't know...maybe I'm just paranoid. Better safe than sorry, though.

I love where my life is right now. I'm in the prime of my life. I can't imagine if things turned out any different. I can't see my life right now without Mina. We're married, living together, and we have a kid. And to think we never would have met if it wasn't for our jobs.

It is difficult sometimes, but I honestly couldn't be happier.