Los Carnales

Chapter 21: Take Me In The Showers

July 28th, 2006
Friday, 6:25am - South Bay Correctional Facility

Wake up at six, go to chow hall at seven, work from eight to three with lunch at twelve, yard time at three until time to return to designated cell block at four, dinner at five for thirty minutes, phone calls or specialised/religious programs from six to seven, showers in between, return to cell block at eight and remain there until lights out at eleven. That was everybody's schedule. What happened in between those hours wasn't usually anybody's business.

Lauren woke up a quarter to six almost every morning so she could get in the showers early without anybody joining the room and sexually harassing her because of her body. Sugar helped make that happen; CO Medina was the one to escort Lauren out of her cell to the showers, and she always waited outside without ever rushing Lauren to leave only because that landed her an added two hundred dollars to her paycheck. Today, she wasn't quick paced in the shower like she usually was. The gang leader was stuck and caught herself staring blankly while washing over the same body part for longer than two minutes. A couple of things were messing with her.

First, she was woken up with an extreme tightness and cramping in her abdomen that felt like what she imagined what being awake during her surgery would feel like. Lauren had a stomach ache that didn't look like it was going to go away anytime soon, so there was that to deal with. When she stepped underneath the weak faucet spraying cold water onto her pasty skin, chanclas protecting her feet from the filth and bacteria growing in the floors, Lauren checked her gunshot wounds for any bleeding or pus but found none. Thank God. But she couldn't help but feel like something was wrong internally. That'd fuck up her week for sure. Then it was Candy, Candy again, and more Candy.

By the passing second, the gang leader felt more and more emotionally volatile with disorderly thoughts that could throw her off her game at the wrong moment—or any moment for that matter. Being threatened, having serious blackmail on her, having to be stuck in the same place as Candy for a year and a half, and on top of that still feeling hurt over Candy shooting her fucked with Lauren beyond words could actually explain. There was no way the universe was this cruel. And she'd never admit it, but her heart still raced and her stomach still had the same butterflies it always did when in her presence. What did that even mean? Perhaps it was only anxiety and the bad kind of butterflies? She still hated her guts.

Rubbing her fingers over her eyes then raking them through her slicked back hair to rid of the conditioner, Lauren emitted a loud huff as the water streamed down her face and dripped off her nose and mouth. To wake herself up, she tilted her head back farther and let the cold hit her face like hail hit the ground. Every thought she had was still Candy. She saw her eyes, those curvy bee stung lips she once enjoyed kissing so much, she heard the arrogance and sweetness in her voice, every word she's ever uttered to Lauren—good and bad. But above all words?

"I am also yours, Lauren" and "I will always have control over you."

"Never," she impulsively whispered to herself.

Lauren turned off the shower, dried off, then completed the last of her morning bathroom routine: brushing her teeth, brushing out her hair, applying liner in front of a mirror you could hardly see your reflection in, and shaving parts of her that grew hair like a man. On the outside, she appeared normanl and unbothered. She had to be. Once she walked out that open door and joined the others, especially Candy, wearing and acting out her deepest chaotic emotions would only result in terrible things for herself and for those she loved.

Good thing she had those two junkies in her back pocket to do her dirty work. Trina and Aida were on their way to the showers alongside five other girls when Lauren grabbed and pulled both of them aside on her way out. CO Medina waited for Lauren but turned away, as Sugar taught her to mind her business whenever stops like this happened.