A Romantic Vision

The Screams of Destiny

Awan and I could gather each evening tell each other about the past and present. Mostly we would eat snack,pastries and cake. He would sometime bring exotic fruits,he would pick each day new curiosity from me and I wasn't able to tell if he were in love with me or I was here to console or be consoled.

It was unmistakable that Awan was going through a hard time himself, the afternoons in the other mansion were rather different than ours. I often heard a woman's scream, plates clattering on the floor or might have been glass, mostly something breaking on the floor and I would some days even hear Awan swearing at her or perhaps his mother, I didn't know much but it subsisted the fact, that something was worse on the other side.

"if you don't mind me asking, are you alright with your marriage?" I asked him one evening, he seemed to be on the verge of breaking down "oh I loathe it day and night, I think there is nothing worse" he spat.

I did not ask him any more, it is funny I have borrowed his habit of silence and comfort in misery.

One such day when I went to his mansion to share the tirasmu I had made, his wife looked at me susceptible eyes and frowned as Awan gladly took a spoonful. I greeted her but she shut the door on me.

"I am sure it bothers her that you spend your evenings here," I said to him as he entered punctually at the sundown.

"she doesn't care for the death of me" he twisted a branch of Lily inspecting it.
I was puzzled "you said she is a wonderful woman "

He brought forth a lily "Woman are wonderful beasts " I took it from him and pondered "do you love her?"

He smiled wide "some days I do, somedays I want to knock her head and sell her soul to the demon in exchange for all the wealth and power in the world"

"Astagfiruallah " I muttered under my breath.

Then he grew trivial as he sat and sighed "I never thought it would be so difficult Miss" I sighed with him"I couldn't  agree more "

Distracted by another branch his twisted it and then glared at me "are you not watering them well?"

I opened the box and there were nuts and chocolates "will you tell me or do I have to wait further" I interrogated.

He slid himself closer and whispered "it's a sad story" I shuddered my shoulders, that's all in the world I care for.

"So my dear maternal Uncle gave my father a faithful loan to build Maerifa, which we have discussed how important it was to father. In short, he could never repay that back and died an awful death, mother lost her mind, Uncle took over the estate and I was well, I am a college drop out and have no skills to earn it back; so uncle and Aunt made this clever deal to me, which I thought was the easiest thing in the world to do until...until you came here in this fountain house and sat like a sad girl, like the most beautiful sad girl I've ever seen, basically you have ruined everything for me, Miss"

I took a deep breath "what was the clever deal?"

"that I marry their only daughter who just...ugh... Is a slight maniac...yes somethings get her disturbed..." he uttered moving his feet frantically.

I shook my head, "you married a madwoman for the property?" How foolish!

He was quiet, then he played with the grass, there stood unsuccessful attempts to hide his anxiety.
"It would've been easier if I had not met you"

I could not believe it...he has destroyed his very own life.

"you are the most irrational man I have ever seen" I declared furiously.

"ayy, she is not that bad, rather sweet when she likes the day. She has a sweet voice and she looks like an angel when she wears white" he endorsed. I thrashed the lily at him.

"It is our destiny" he upheld.

I walked away from him and it disturbed me how he has no regard for the insane decision. How mad was she? Presumably enough to kill him, I thought.
I did not talk to him the next day or the day after that. I was disgruntled by him. It was only when I felt more pity than anger did I move out with him.

"you realise your greed has landed you into this?" I heckled him.

He sneered at me "it is still a better alternative to marrying someone who wouldn't sleep with me, no offence "

I was more than offended "I confided in you and all you do is make a joke of it and taunt me"

He cackled covering his mouth.
I couldn't help but smile at his kiddish laugh.

As I smiled, a shadow covered me, I raised my head sinking recognizing the cologne. Timur tilted his head to me "Mrs Masi expects you at the dinner table" his voice convulsed in the pit of my stomach.
I hope he would forgive me, I felt guilty laughing with Awan, did I seem immoral to be with him...and that too laughing?

The dinner was eaten in complete silence, the rattling sound of fork and knives fought to victory. I would not help but glance Timur every minute, running internally over the things he might be thinking.

He stood in the garden, it might have been around eight in the night, the summer night had cooled by a degree. I moved to him in small steps.

Should I apologise? He looks visibly thinner, his eyes deep in the cavity, the paleness in his cheeks, the ash-coloured texture over his forehead and his exhausted pupils.

"I apologize for not have come to you earlier," he said softly, he was weakly leaning to me, I wanted to hold him but I was intimidated to touch him.

"Are you alright, you look ill?" I enquired.

"not it was the journey" he coughed.

He sauntered into the house as I followed him. "I am not mad Timur, I understand you were emotional," I said nervously handing him a blanket.
He nodded.

I heard a scream from Awan's house and dismissed it. Timur peeked from the curtains and looked at me for an explanation " Awan's wife is a maniac" I said too casually, Timur was more shocked to hear he had a wife than to see his own with him.

He lay on the bed and switched on the side lamp "how is insomnia?" I asked moving forward "just shut the door while leaving, I am tired " he halted me.